The wind carries
every lonely sigh
riding the coldness
of nonexistence
To an unknown place
of darkness where your tired body
temporarily lays
The journey of my delusion
is unending
With every minute passing,
I embrace your picture
tattoed in every strand of my consciousness
So that even if we're far away from each other
we'll still be together
We are being strengthened by "goodbyes",
Toughened by promises
that one day
I will once again drown
in the river of your eyes...
Author notes
This is originally written in Filipino (language in the Philippines) by my best friend.
I really love this piece so i would like to share the translated version.
I hope I was able to bring out the beauty of the poem through my translation.
prompt: option 2 and 4
A contest entry
- Lukewarm Coffee by Papers.
1200 points, ended February 23, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Any Poem Welcome by jayyniecakes..
1158 points, ended February 16, 188 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write me something by YesterdaysDreams.
700 points, ended February 18, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken Sadness by SunDew.
1200 points, ended February 26, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Melancholy Madness by psychedelichippie.
550 points, ended March 13, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost anything Goes! by NickelleteXninja.
525 points, ended March 30, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
I like this poem. It is a very strong poem. I did, however, feel that you had a force ending. I would like it to be longer. But its good. good luck.
-
Your friend is an amazing poet, & you must be an amazing translator! If the English version is less beautiful than the Filipino version, then I have no words for how great it is.
My favorite part of the poem is the last three lines:
"that one day
I will once again drown
in the river of your eyes..."
This poem strikes home rather hard for me. Do I know your friend?
Thanks for entering & good luck!
~Bright Cheetah
-
-
thanks and i'm really happy that i'm one of the finalists.
thanks for the points you gave.
-
thanks thanks for the comment and i'm really glad you like the poem.
-
-
So far away, but so close together..a haunting reverie.
Yor friend wrote a beautiful piece, and if it is nothing like what you have translated, than the original must be cosmic, as this one is stellar.
-cheers to you both
-
To an unknown place
of darkness where your tired body
temporarily lays
The journey of my delusion
is unending
With every minute passing,
I embrace your picture
tattoed in every strand of my consciousness
this was beautifully written good luck and good job -
-
thank you. glad you love it.
-
-
this is pretti.. but i feel like it needs some length.
best of luck in my contest -
"I will once again drown
in the river of your eyes..."
Oh, I know that feeling! Such a great piece, you did a great job translating. Let your friend know that they did a wonderful job with their words. It's full of emotions that I can relate to. Great job!
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
