The beast strides down his path
muttering no word
only beset by his glory and limit,
with enemies to his right
friends on this left
and only a narrow stretch of dirt
parting them from
their silence of equality.
Fierce ego strides down the path
looking only in one direction
feeling and destroying all questions
from the moments clarity
until he comes to the final mound,
unconsciously he stops the tide
and he comes to where
the end of all battles resides,
the monster climbs the mound
and looks back over whats behind him
and faces it to roar
"This is my face and no one else's,
none shall draw theirs upon it!",
now all alone
he sits on his throne
as the king of all.
Comments
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Hmmmmm ...
I'd get rid of that second "strides down the path". You don't need it and it jars because it's too close to the first time you used it. Otherwise, this is okay, but I'm not sure what you're really wanting to say with it.
Anyway, it's not a bad job for what it is.
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o.o Bwahaha! I told you i would read!! >.< Lol. Okay, this is very.. Story like.. Short story, simple, good visual! Very well done!
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