Listen to my very heart
moving past the
speed of sound.
Through the towns
and souls of those
who held it close,
to mend the broken shards,
beneath the dark of night,
so tenderly at county's end,
near the towering sun flowers
by moon lit tracks.
One starry night
you took it from this
living form,
we drank
beneath the rafters..
where all my ghosts
would sit above me..
laughing at it's departure
from this sweet,
sweet world.
It is the moment
where the rails
wind and bend
to meet the sky.
Listen to
my very heart
moving past
the speed of sound.
In a list
A contest entry
- Rhyme,Lyrics, Prose, Dirty Pretty. by Antebellum.
800 points, ended September 24, 298 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 47 of 47
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The last two stanza of this tie it up with a bow and seals it perfect. This...
"where the rails
wind and bend
to meet the sky.".........is so poetic in flow and sound. Very nice pen
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Lovely
Thats a lovely bit of writing
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wow just wow.....
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It is the moment
where the rails
wind and bend
to meet the sky.
major wow. i love this, the wording and imagery is awesome! a great write and a better read
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near the towering sun flowers
by moon lit tracks.
that image was somehow heartrending. beautiful reminiscence and imagery, as always, my friend. =]
Kelly
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Amazing!
I really could feel the emotion pouring off the page after i read this one. Very nice imagery .
My favorite line was "heart moving past the speed of sound"
great job.
Mandi
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Beautiful write, it's as if you write for the heart of the world. Everyone can indentify with this. Great job
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This is so beautiful. It has that pure feeling in it, that moment of true awareness even. The lines 'we drank / beneath the rafters.. / where all my ghosts / would sit above me..' that is so amazing. I just love that, the image it brings with it to my ind and the thoughts that swirl behind it all. Very good work here. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck!
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I like the rhythm here, the feel of a train and travelling at a speed that blurrs the outside. I like the sun/moon and town/county contrasts, and the image of the train speeding on past the spot where the parallel lines meet. Great work, poet.
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Hmm
Pure poetry mate. And it's a night train in the middle of the night. So very well done! -c
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ok. so maybe my brain just isnt working cuz i dont really get this one either. but i still like it. hm, i might have to say you are a fantastic writer.
but i reserve the right to take that back if it inflates your ego
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I remember a song called "Trucking off across the sky" and for reason this wonderful write reminds me abit of this maybe its reference to trains all in all an excellent write with lots of emotional imagery
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You write so mystically, just beautiful and soft. I enjoyed the way you set the images at the speed of sound, but kept the rythm slow and smooth. It created a great tableau effect between what I saw in the eye of my mind and what I heard in it's ears.
"where all my ghost"
passed-past
You moght want to fix those.
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As time speeds across our lives all we can do is safely ride..past loves haunt the waiting mind as the future flows as a unknown, as though a waste of time...the ghost of times behind us laugh at our confusion, as we look upon the wrecked future, as without rhyme nor reason...I feel your heart my brother
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Twilight of the dawning
I do believe this piece is quite touching for to me it speaks of love of life past and the surrender to futures unkown.
I like it, I like it so!
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i loved this poem, it really astounded me. It flowed very well, I especially liked the end stanza. great job =]
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This flows very well. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks.
Jake
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Wow, this was truly a gem.
Your brilliance sways in many directions
as this really dwelled deep within,
pulling emotions I have held in the past,
present, and probably the future as well.
This was so very beautifully penned
with such depth, truth & LIFE.
I really like how you compared
hearts to trains. So originally crafted my friend.
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I'm afraid, my friend, that your talent surpasses my ability to understand. A love poem, yes. Beautiful, yes. I understand those. Maybe that's all I'm meant to. You're just to damn talented.
Blessed Be,
***rae***
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amazed
I can't get over how you flow in these moving writes of yours like silk it slides through the mind. I am going to try some more free verse. check out
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5085051 discouridged. my only free verse
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'the moment where the rails wind and bend to meet the sky'...a very tastey choice of words!! the whole was stunning!
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I really enjoyed this.
Michael
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Beautiful metaphorical pictures you paint with yur wisely chosen words. Read several times and equally affected by it. I can't chose a favourite part as to do so would take something from the rest and its too good for that!! Thanks for sharing, Anna-Marie.
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I'm pretty sure I read this already, but it doesn't look like I commented on it (which seems odd.) Love the first stanza. Nice write!!
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so tenderly at county's end,
near the towering sun flowers
by moon lit tracks.
love ur poem heart touching
especially those lines....
Hope
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beautiful
I could almost hear the heartbeats...
One starry night
you took it from this
living form,
we drank
beneath the rafters..
where all my ghost
would sit above me..
I love this part so much
it stands out for itself
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NICE.
I like Amelus' quote a lot, and I think I'd agree with that one.
I love how the title impacts the poem's imagery...That's awesome.
The middle two stanzas were so good though...
"It is the moment
where the rails
wind and bend
to meet the sky."
Just gave it such an epic feel while still getting your point across..
LOVED IT....BOOKMARKED~
BRANDON
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Very Unique!!
Thank you for your wonderful Valentine's Day entry in my contest!! 
This poem brings to mind a song by Johnny Cash, any one of them, pick one. You're an awesome writer!! I'm wishing you all the best!! Peace, xx Cyn 
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Wowee......loved this one, real beauty. Great stuff.
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You really captured a certain tone with this piece...really took me to those quiet, still moments when the sound of love is deafening amidst the silence...
Or, even more likely, the sound of a breaking heart becomes almost audible when all the words have failed you and you are left with nothing to say to one another...
I loved the subtle imagery in the third stanza...with just a few words you set quite a scene for me...it was a place I had been before.
I love your work, and your beautiful soul. I hope you found happiness on Valentine's day this year, Billy.
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I read this cause your description in the 'shamless' spot or what ever was 'broken the speed of the sound of lonliness' and to that a I have to say 'out there runnin just to be on the run'
if you don't get it then I thought you were quoting a John Prine song...
Anyways, really great write. And get back to me on whether or not you had Prine in mind. -
Awh. beautiful poem
this one touches my heart.
♥ -
Seems as though the history is clearly seen within. From the past to having passed, perhaps the ghost laughs only to hide the fear of never having known what it is to meet the sky.
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Very nice
I enjoyed reading you words, plus the fact that I also love trains. Nice job
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One starry night
you took it from this
living form,
we drank
beneath the rafters..
where all my ghost
would sit above me..
I couldnt resist L. A beautiful poignant telling of a heart that's been hurt too many times to count. A word of advice from someone who knows. . . dont let it go so fast it misses out on the magic of healing, the delight of opening up again, and the swell of another possibility of forgiveness.
I've always loved your words, I think you know that. This is certainly no exception.
I wish you love on St. Valentine's day, New beginnings,
second chances. Love is never too far away. For where I am in my life, that says a lot.
Love always,
Jin
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I love this! The flow is like a train , somehow, perfectly... Beautiful images and sounds and feelings... What a treat on Valentines Day Beautiful!!
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that was really nice. i love the mood you created and the whole concept of the poem. good luck in the contest.
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Wonderful poem again Lowell..you certainly gave us a touch of your poetic heart my friend. THANKS for a beautiul piece!
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There is an air of a story teller in this. One image in particular really took me. I loved the contrast with the sunflowers and the moon, I applaude! It was as if time stood still there. I had to read it again, haha. And the laughing ghosts was another great one. The metaphor was put together well!
Síochán leat
~Mairéad~
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beautiful imagery. it really takes you away with it...
"near the towering sun flowers
by moon lit tracks."
Lovely!
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All aboard...?
Quite a journey that you take the rail passengers on here mate. A speedy moment where ribbons of steel merge to one. A tip of the hat to ya! -c
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Very forward moving! I kind of felt like I was being carried swiftly along, hopping trains all across the country! I like how your poems are all different and like they are their own person. No two are alike. My favorite stanzas were the third and the forth. The part about the ghost laughing just really struck me as unusual and I had to stop write there and imagine what that would look like. So kudos for you, for surprising me!
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well,you've done it again.another good one.i envy your talent. "heart moving past the speed of sound" i like that.
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wow this is truly beautiful!!!! You did a magnificent job with this piece big brother I love it!!!! Everything about it is so lovely and so well written!!!!! Your words are so clear and flow like a fountain!!!! Ur details and descriptions are truly interesting and perfect!!!!! You did an incredible job!!!! Sorry I haven't written I was gone all last week and now I am real sick!!!!! I love u and have missed u!!!!!
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Great new poem my friend
A passage through time maybe? A ride through life so far even. The very last stanza was my favourite part of this one. V good.
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Saddly romantic and beautiful in form.
The imagery is vivid and the metaphor originally written.
Really beautiful words penned together to tell a tale of love...
Seriously love it!
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LOve the imagery, this reminds me of older poems, From poe and Longfellow, through Lowell and Frost and even Pound... Lovely in its pace, feel and cadence. Well done my friend!
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