I am not human
At least,
Not anymore
I'm a system of
Complex wires and gears
Faithfully running on
Always near break down
But running on
Sometimes, I get so full
Of all this built up shit
That I have to,
I just have to,
Take a rest
And bleed out the rusty blood
Then I'm ok
Then I run fine
No one ever knows the difference
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Sadly enough, I understand.
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>.< oops forgot these (i do that alot it seems)
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You are one heck of a kick ass writer. (sry, language. but it's true) Normally I am not one for the depressing teen poems, but you have just blown those standards out of the water. Great piece and knowing the feeling from a few years ago (and still every now and then) this piece speaks extreme volumes. This isn't "just another emo piece" like I was starting to expect when I read from teens, but rather a true portrait of the pain. The metaphor of a working mechanical device is very well developed and I am impressed. Concrete and abstract melded near perfection. Koo-does big time.
one technical advise piece: Ln 10 read a little strangely. I would suggest playing with it a bit to see if you can keep the flow solid through the whole piece. -
i will always know. talk to me baby.
whats going on? -
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eh, nothin really
days have their ups n downs is all -
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ill be on yim in half an hour if you want to talk about it and ill be on here til later tonight
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