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Placing Their Bets

I guess I didn’t make myself clear,
when I said "fuck off…" and I might have said "die",
but that's a little much.

And still you trample through me
with muddy boots on!

Unable however...
to contaminate that smile
that turns this vacancy sign off.

Once again knees met ears,
peeling a plea from each breath 
until the perfect shatter screams out,

success...!

~Our demons sit observing
placing their bets...



Author notes

Your prompt is:
"Sexual intercourse is kicking death in the ass while singing."

Charles Bukowski

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • dustys back
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    I think there was a lot of mis-understanding read into this. I don't see it as violent... angry yes, but then a make up fuck is generally really energetic.

    love the knees by ears...my fav.
    Later,
    dusty

  • Tlr051408
    February 13

    Edit | Reply

    Nice!

    Sarcastic, witty, full of irony .... angry and yet, even though they win you are the real, the defiant, winner...you have a great twist with words.


  • myron silver member
    February 13

    Edit | Reply

    violent

    Hi there! Quite a lot of violence going on this this free verse, loosely constructed poem.

    Some people write poems which are predicatable and cliched. This is certainly not one of those poems. The ending came as a complete surprise to me.

    Good luck in the contest,
    Myron.


  • afroqban
    February 11
    Edit | Reply
    oh hell yeah this is hot! the ending is a really nice touch. great work


  • DolceVito gold member
    February 11
    Edit | Reply
    Super cool write...love the Bukowiski voice. Excellent job.


  • arafura gold member
    February 11
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this very much. Good luck in the contest!


  • BehindTheShadow
    February 10
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is quite a piece! Wonderful write.


  • Cannonsfire gold member
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    Wowzers...I'd hate to be the brunt of this lol...you brought it and gave it out in spades here C


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    February 10
    Edit | Reply
    love the first stanza


  • Dalaney gold member
    February 10
    Edit | Reply
    wild!


  • thejollytinker
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    Got-damn! You can be scary when you want to!!! Three wolves just left my trash can in abject fear!! There was some good meat in there, too


  • thepoetssoul
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    Wow This is an amazing piece of poetry, filled with stunning imagery and imaginative thought.Your quill has dazzled here indeed.Top shelf poetry, be blessed in all you do.

    Tony


  • usefuldistraction
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing write...From the title to the laying down in the demonic kitty! Everything about this is spot on potent ppoetry! Stanza 4 the BEST one for me, but you close too is just perfect!! Good fortune in the contest!!


  • Cerulean Sunrise
    February 10
    Edit | Reply
    You go!

    Loved reading it.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful thought here for this prompt
    my friend. All the best to you with it in
    this contest and take care. It's great to
    read you again!




    Jeremy0826

1 - 17 of 17