I've masturbated with too many items you probably never would have even thought of.
(Yeah. That's right, girls masturbate.)
I feel like I'm broken;
I can get guys to fall head over heals for me,
but I somehow manage to convince myself that they aren't good enough.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to completely be in love.
I'm straight,
but I find girls so much sexier to look at than guys;
(although I would find it disgusting for me to actually act sexual towards them.)
I want to make other peoples' lives better.
I want to make a difference in life.
One day, you're going to know my name.
(I've always felt like I'm meant to be famous.)
I'd like to become a psychologist; work in a mental institution for teenage self mutilation and substance abuse.
Psychology is too popular of a subject right now though and there are no jobs, so I need to find a new career.
I'd love to become an author/artist.
I think I'm hot when I'm in public,
but when my boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful, perfect,
and the prettiest girl in the world,
I don't believe him.
I have a habit of looking at other girls and thinking,
"they probably hate their bodies. They probably think they're fat.
I think they're pretty,"
But then I look at myself and think I'm chubby,
even though I know I'm not,
and it bothers me.
I do super romantic things for my boyfriend;
(I write him love letters and for christmas I gave him a book of all the poems I wrote for him)
I just want him to do the same for me in return.
(I think he didn't understand the poems and thought they were stupid. That's the worse part.)
I want so much to tell Chuck Palahniuk how he is my inspiration,
but he only allows fanmail at certain times and I don't know when that will be.. :/
I made my boyfriend and I toasterstrudels.
I went to throw out the icing packets and when I bent over towards the garbage can,
I dropped one toasterstrudel on the ground. (I thought, oh, that'll be mine then... - [We only had the two left. No more.])
When I went to pick that one up, I dropped the other in the garbage can.
So he got the one on the floor!
Then he asked why his was just a blob of icing instead of a picture drawn on it like mine... >.>
(I told him later. haha.)
I figured out my boyfriend's myspace password,
but haven't told him yet because he's still freaked out by his ex who could figure it out everytime he changed it. hah.
I told my one friend before that she needed to pick up her hygeine habits, and shave her beard. >.>
She thinks she took care of it.
I want to tell her she still needs to take care of the beard..
But I figure one time is enough.
I hate more than anything, having big boobs.
My boyfriend loves them ; that's all he talks about - and he talks about them with not only me, but everyone else too.
Girls envy them and tell me they want them.
They're so inconvenient and make shirt shopping (with a size small waste), bathing suit shopping, and bra shopping, a bitch. I just want them average sized.
I curl my toes when I get nervous.
Author notes
Secrets.
I love sharing them,
I love hearing them.
They make the world seem real...
A contest entry
- Postsecret by SceneQueen.
550 points, ended April 1, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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You. Are. A badass.
Seriously, this is awesome. I love the way your voice comes out while you're writing. Like, I can hear you speaking when I read this.
Your word choice is just loud like that.
I approve
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Ahahah.
Thank you so much. (:
Your comment made my day.
Much appreciated, love. <3
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Good.
Much here to focus on. Good straight forward words telling it as it is(or was). Honest as spit and interestingly laid out.
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This is probably one of the most personal postsecret entries I've seen on AP
I like how open you are. Just your honest....
If you win gold, I wouldn't be surprised. -
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Nah.
The girl didn't even put me in her "finalists" list. >.>
I think she's mad at me because I commented her and told her that she was retarded for telling someone their secrets didn't make sense.
You just don't ever do that.
I'm a really big "secret advocate" *I guess you could say*, and I am a huge fan of postsecret, so it was sort of like, no. Don't do that. >.>
But haha, thanks.
I'm just an open person. (: -
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Yeah I agree. That's pretty messed up.
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I loved this.
and I agree. I have big boobs and it's SO hard to find shirts when the rest of you is little...and I've never heard of anyone else who curls their toes when they get nervous, I thought I was the only one!!!
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I love your secrets.. well.. that was strange to type. I actually can relate in some way to most of them. Especially the boob part lol. I can find shirts to fit me but if I want a nice fancy dress its really difficult.
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hey you
dont be generalising all boys
some of us arent insensitive non-sentimental pricks ( i think). I'll let you know if i come across any. And not all guys think girls are innocent either.
Though it is funny your bf had that contest, i had a similar one in high school (english high school that is) and won £25 for going a month (about $50 at the time)
=D
hope your alright
sam x
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Hahaha.
Most guys think that girls don't masturbate. ;D
Ex-boyfriend.
And I suppose it's a universal thing for guys, eh?
Way to go. A whole month, boy you're good. ;D
I'm doing okay.
I'm just getting over being miserably sick all week. Missed four days of school and went through hell the one day I did go. Terrible.
How are you?
I miss ya. <3 -
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Well what can i say im not most guys. I'm not any better but im definitely not the same. awwww -hug-. well i hope you get better soon.
im alright ta. pretty tired and college work is picking up. Start University in september hopefully so gotta get alot of work done.
ive missed you too.
sam x
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i think i identified with you more than anyone else in this contest, its so crazy how many secrets people have that are the same.
also the part about making your boyfriend a book of poems and him not liking or understanding them MY GOD i did the same thing and it back fired on me because he really didn't seem that excited or anything! ugh. their guys, they really don't look into sentimental things that much.
thanks for sharing these
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Right, I pout a ton of effort into this book of like, 49 poems I wrote about/for him,
and in the letter I put at the front of the book I said I didn't want him to tell me what he thought because if he didn't understand them, I didn't want to feel stupid.
On the back of each poem I wrote what it was about.
First thing he says is -
"If I didn't read the back of this, I wouldn't have known what it was about."
>.>
greattttt. haha. -_______-
Yeah, I love secrets. <3 Most peoples secrets are all the same but society doesn't approve so we hide them, even though we all do it anyways. ;D
One of the most common ones Frank says, (he's the originator of postsecret) is peeing in the shower. x)
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LOL at the peeing in the shower yeah i bet ha
hm yeah i dont even try anymore. in fact i stopped writing poems for him and i stopped making CD's for him as well. bleh.
well hey at least they love us LOL -
put*
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I know woman masturabate, I do myself. Though most guys think only slags do it. Whatever, I say to them. Nice and honest!
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Yeah. My ex told me one time about a 'contest' his friends and him were having;
to see who could go the longest without masturbating.
He said girls entered and he didn't think it was fair.
I asked why and he told me that it seemed it would be easier for girls to win, because it's not like they really masturbated anyways.
>.>
Guys think girls sit around, staring at the walls,
and thinking of rainbows and ponies all day or something.
God forbid they think or do anything sexual. >.>
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I liked these
and i also gave my boyfriend poems for christmas.. he didn't understand them either.
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This is most defiantly personal and things I'd consider secrets. It's worth the gold for sure! <3
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My gosh this was such a confessional piece of work, it made my head swim as I read it. You need to believe in yourself and know your are worthly of the love from others. a bit hard to do. Been there and done that myself. May you do well in the contest.
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Oh i love this.
I guess i'm nosey.
I love how personal this is.
I love all the stuff in brackets () :
(Yeah. That's right, girls masturbate.)
and
I'm straight,
but I find girls so much sexier to look at than guys;
and
I hate more than anything, having big boobs.
most of the time i thought you were writting about me
most of this kind of fits me perfectly. i love it. i like being able to relate to what i'm reading.
this is gold in my eyes!
best of luck in the contest,
amazing write.
ElectricBloom
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