Your baby's breath
tip-toes
down my thigh, while
Your fingertips play
hopscotch with the
angel kisses
on my shoulders.
A ray of sunshine
bounces off the
set-in-stone sparkle
in your eyes.
I try so hard to keep from
going under.
rather waste some time with you.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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u have a great flow through the poem. i love how u try to keep from going under, cause its easy to lose your head. *laugh*
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Short, to the point!
Great images and nice flow!!
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This is really wonderful. Loved it! Keep on writing.
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I like this. This is an amazing write! And I love the title you've chosen for it, it fits it so perfectly. Terrific write hun! Keep up the good writing.
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Thank you very much. I love when I can find a good idea and write something like this. Very much appreciated.
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Hmmm inresting... I really enjoyed this penning.. I found it to be a glimps back into my childhood.. thank you for that.. great penning poet!!!
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This seems completely unlike you. I mean the writing style is yours yes, and I do love the poem but I got the sense that this was a more... sensual poem then what you usually write. However it is very good.
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I've written a poem similar:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4702527
I am trying to be creative and not lazy.
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