Pouring hot liquid
Green, opaque, stimulating
Steaming, lifting cup.
Sugar sweetens tea,
warming through thoughtfully kind,
gold porcelain rim.
Fine china tea cups,
soothing luxury, imparts
finer feelings lost.
Let me know How this makes you feel, what do you think?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Presentation is almost everything. I like the calming effect a reader can feel in this quiet quality sipped cup.
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Well at first it made me feel like I was so peaceful and thirsty for green tea, in my own house. Then when you get to the description of the china I feel I am surrounded by sophisticated ppl with white gloves. No matter, still an awesome read.
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this is beautiful it makes me feel as if i'm sitting in a nice comfy room enjoying a hot cup of tea, now all i need is some cheese and crackers and some fruit
lovely, though the only thing i would change myself is all the punctuation, for the first haiku i think it could do without all except for the commas in between "Green, opaque, stimulating" and "steaming, lifting" and for the other two haikus i think the only punctuation needed would be the comma between the words "soothing luxury, impart" other then that it sounds fine without it, idk you can re read it like that and see what you think
great write anyways
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simply semantics of style.
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of course, those are my personal opinions on how this would flow better but it sounds good either way
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I liked it and it brought back memories of a more genteel time, sipping tea before a big fire on a snowy day. One suggestion: second stanza, first line - should it be sweetened - ie, an adjective to modify tea?
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