I wrap my hands in sticky tape
in an attempt to rip my fingerprints off.
I smooth discrepancies
with heated iron;
my skin
a raw mess of scalds.
What use do I have for friction ridges
when I want to lose my grip on reality?
Author notes
Friction ridges: ridges of skin that form fingerprints which are located in the grasping surfaces of human skin such as on your fingers and palms.
In a list
A contest entry
- Your best freeverse. by jayyniecakes..
400 points, ended March 19, 63 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just give me your best by The Phoenix Returns.
700 points, ended March 24, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [almost] anything. by owlish.
900 points, ended May 30, 51 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - critique by DancingRed.
400 points, ended July 16, 51 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Favorite Poem by technicolor girl.
400 points, ended July 30, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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This is very good. Usually with short poems, there tends to be an air of incompleteness, but that wasn't there at all in this one. The imagery you used was very intriguing and unique. All in all, it was just really good and I can't think of anything at all helpful in the way of critiques...Awesome job!
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I wrap my hands in sticky tape
in an attempt to rip my fingerprints off.
- that's really good.
and the last line was just edgy but out t here, and gave it a really powerful feel -
this is amazing,
it just seeps this raw emotion that brings tears to my eyes and haunting forms of imagery.
it all flows perfectly and just sits there in your palm.
amazing
♥
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Oh, oh, oh! I love this! The first two lines are stellar, and it only gets better from there.
I know you've used a small idea of angst, but you've done awesome things with it. There's probably a lot of poetry out there similar to this, and yet YET this poem feels completely new and raw. That is what awesome poets do.
Your imagery all works so smoothly, the way ideas and images flow with feeling. Makes me want to hug you, stranger, or cry with you, bleed with you, or something. Yet I just take a step back and tell you your words and your hurt are so beautiful? Silly, really.
Thanks for providing the specific definition of 'friction ridges' - allows readers to get more of the meaning.
No critique I can think of just now. Thanks very much for entering! This piece is brilliant, just what I'm looking for, the darkness, the poetic devices, the *poetry*.
DancingRed.
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I loved the last two lines on this piece. The emotion that you put into this, is simply outstanding. It seems you have alot of hurt built up inside. (of course, you could just want to get rid of your fingerprints for other reasons
) You did a great job with this piece!
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now this deserves the trophies
I loved and i mean loved xD how the first line was written
so original and really made the poem a GREAT poem
great write
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wow, this is amazing. I love it. I can see why it won gold and silver The imagery and the vocabulary are both stunning.
"What use do I have for friction ridges
when I want to lose my grip on reality?"
^^^^^^^The ending is just perfect.
Brilliant write dear.
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Me Again nah nah ne nah nah
An amazing write. I'm curious those why lose grip on reality? Life is what you make of it. If you're feeling down & out wrap sticky tape around a cat's paws. It's great for a laugh, it'll improve your life to no end. It's cruel so don't do it, or do it, i don't like cats. contact you later mmmkay.
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Wow, this was amazing
and very thought provoking.
Brilliantly crafted ideas
and congrats on the
trophies won!
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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I liked it, just not a winner. Thanks for entering!
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Ouch, that would hurt!
Marvelous piece, great imagery and emotion here.
Bravo!!!
♥ Kate -
That is breath-taking! The last 2 lines can stand by themselves as an excellent one liner. This is a gem!
Thanks for entering!
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an exelent write that needed no mor einformation than was placed here as some things are better left to the imagination, this write is all the more better for its shortness and adding more to it would only have spoiled it in my oppinion it is a very effective write keep up the good work and thenk you for sharing this with us
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8 lines to disguise a deeper meaning. This was truly a wonderful work. Did you know, that wrapping duct tape around your fingers where you have warts and then leaving it on for 3 weeks is actually classified as a medical treatment for warts by the mayo clinic? See. This is why I kick ass at Trivial Pursuit.
I love the underlying meaning here, but I can't help but ask myself, are you really trying to lose your grip on reality, or in actuality are you really looking to lose your identity? Some of us wish to start over in a new life, but remember, the actions that compose our every moment in history, combine to form the symphony of our soul.
Best of luck,
Løki
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While Afxb was evidently disappointed by the brevity in this, I was enthralled by it. Just goes to show what different things appeal. I personally find it exceedingly difficult to get a strong point across without using tons of words & lots of harsh vocabulary. You do not suffer from that condition in the slightest.
Instead, I found a tangible beginning, middle and ending in this piece. The end is what struck me dumb. But then, some of the most wonderful pieces often end that way! But this one...it spoke to me in several different ways. The deepest being that I have been there, more than once, so I identify with it greatly.
Nicely done! Good luck in the contest!
-Bean
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I always like your writing.
You take care with words and their placement..and this is making a real point.
About reality ...and trying to escape from it.
I was disappointed by its brevity....and hoped for more sections
ie what happens when the grip on reality becomes really loose
or
what are the consequences of the harm caused to you..or others in these dangerous activities
or
A hint of what lead to this place.
ie
I want the whole book of poems on this and not just this beautiful, deep and moving fragment.
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"I smooth discrepancies
with heated iron;"
I love that. I've accidentally ironed myself a few times, and your skin does go kind of flat and weird, doesn't it?
Best of luck in the contest.
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Brilliant!
Beautiful,
"What use do I have for friction ridges
when I want to lose my grip on reality?"
a thing I often wish that I coudl do,
brilliant poem,
brilliant write.
Keep writing &&I'll keep reading,
Annie Shadows
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What use do I have for friction ridges
when I want to lose my grip on reality?
Im in love with that part. Good luck in the contest babe!
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