Hate Me

Take all your passion and turn it aside,
let it dwell where it’s no longer a whore
falling for its own reflection,
my fetid thoughts of your adoration
are like a burgeoning cancer growing
towards an explosion of violence;
I can still turn the world upon you,
but that is not the message that I deliver.

All I want is for you to hate me
(so that it gives me an excuse).

Returning back to halcyon days of numbness,
where at least I knew where I stood
and I was immune to positive emotions
that I never deserved to imagine or feel,
all I want now, in truth, is a payment in kind;
I don’t want to see tears in anyone’s eyes
when I spit fury upon your precious bonfires
of high burning hopes and expectations.

All I want is for karma to bite me
(to puncture me with your teeth).

I can say it never should have come to this,
arms wrapped around coaxing love,
vindication from words spat at me in youth,
encouraging thought that maybe they were wrong,
when I always knew within a sinking heart.
the only truth was that they were always right
and the depth of your feeling towards me
disgusts me at the deep pain it must inflict.

All I want is for everyone to despise me
(so you can walk away to happiness).