Alone at last,
nothing separating us but
a curtain and a pane of glass.
Virgin fantasies pulsating through my loins,
fumbling in my pockets, excited
I insert the correct amount of coins,
as the heavy gold drapes pull back,
a deep throated moan leaves me,
faced with a vision of white veiled in laced - black,
I feel myself rise as this beauty starts dancing for me.
Undoing my belt and buttons
I set my erection free.
As I stroke my thick pulsating girth,
her red hair tumbles over her shoulders,
like the setting sun going down on the earth.
Extending her lithe slender lines of seduction,
gripping tighter, I quicken pace
as her full cherry red lips pout sinful corruption,
a searing fire burns beneath my flesh, in torment
as I crave...for real...the fantasy I have created
of me - her and this moment.
I long to taste the texture of her silken dewy flesh,
as pearls of our pleasure slowly drip down the valley
between her swollen pert breasts.
I can hardly catch my breath,
gasping, panting, my hands work their magic
as she spreads her long milky lean legs.
Teasing open her delicate flush pink petals,
her fingers dip in and out like humming birds
feeding on golden nectar, more precious than any metals.
I watch, stroking faster, the throbbing pulse between my thighs.
As she dresses herself in her honey, her eyes the colour of envy sparkle,
I sigh, almost a cry,
as her fingers slither snake like
within the Eden of her curves, coiling sensually around her peaks
of arousal, leaving a satin trail along her sleek neck, I bite,
on my bottom lip as she tastes her sweetness with a sultry smile.
Her aroma and mine mingle in the sex filled air, musk with floral notes,
catch the back of my throat, I start to hold back for awhile,
as I feel the first surge of what is to come.
A knot in the base of my loins, my heart beating, skin tingling, she teases me from
a distance her glances come hither - fleeting. Her frame glistens like the sun.
I stroke hard tip to base. Writhing in unison we cry, never touching, senses high, letting go of our liquid pleasure. Our orgasms spiral taking control, I look into her eyes as her climax unfolds, so beautifully vulnerable, letting out a satisfied moan,I sigh.
Reaching out, sharing our release, I cradle the love of my life,
basking in her murmurs of pleasure...I think how much I love
my whore, my lover, my beautiful wife...
Author notes
Female
A contest entry
- Erotic Multi Round Contest (5) by Dark Otter.
700 points, ended February 27, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Judges Critique!
Content 40% - 37 points
A good male personna in an ultra erotic situation. Your narrative is hot. I think more significant detail would've made it better.
Poetic Devices 20%- 16 points
A very sensual/word choice for this erotica. Not much in alliteration or creative metaphor. Some is quite cliche. I thought 'sinful corruption' was the most applicable for a voyeuristic situation. More precious than any metals seems thrown in.
This one didn't work, too cliquish.
'like the setting sun going down on the earth.'
Form 20%-17 points
Your rhyme is a strong point. It didn't feel forced or obnoxious. But the line lengths at the end seem too long. I think the finish should've been the climax with the punchline as an afterthought. The rhythm and pacing dragged at particular points. Maybe, use line breaks for more effective emphasis
Spelling, grammar, punctuation-10%-9 points
Your spelling and grammar were quite strong. Punctuation in some places is suspect, but a matter of choice.
Appearance 10%-10 points
Image font color and background. Everything that dealt with appearance is 'spot' on.
90 out of 100
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Very hot indeed. I loved it.
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Thank you for stopping by to comment
valued and appreciated
~sugar~
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big
your the man hehehe
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LOL! Thank you
~sugar~
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What a write! You have a terrific close bond with your partner because you can get into his mind and you know each step of the way from his side of the proceedings. A brilliant work. Sheila
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Thank you so much for your wonderful comment...I do have a very strong bond
with my partner.
~sugar~
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hot hot hot
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Thank you for stopping by
~sugar~
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intense
wow another great work, you have once again blown me away, your word usage is incredible, i marvel at how you create such a sultry image, using just your words ^_^
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Thank you for your fab comment, glad you enjoyed
~sugar~
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intense
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Appreciate you commenting
~sugar~
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YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO STROKE IT AND CHOKE IT, BABY!
Perhaps that is from all of the peeping that you have been doing into this naughty boys bedroom window! HE! HE - Or could it be that you have been practicing with your strap-on, Miss Honey? Either way you had me playing and pulling on me willy with this one which passed me hardness test - hands down. LOL!! GOOD LUCK in the contest with this SIZZLING & CREAMY piece - you naughty girl you - or should I say - naughty boy!! HE! HE!
Peace & Love!
Earl.
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It's a hard job...but someone has to do it!
LMAO! Someone has to keep an eye on the master at work and I bagged the job..whoohoo 
It's soooooo good to be naughty. He! He! Thanks baby for your fab comment always a pleasure to read, you're a gem...
Love you Chelle xxx
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wow, great poem. excellent imagery and language. well written. the best part is:
"Extending her lithe slender lines of seduction,
gripping tighter I quicken pace,
as her full cherry red lips pout sinful corruption"
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Thank you for commenting, valued and appreciated
~sugar~
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Holy crap!
Now that was hot! The best erotic poem you ever wrote. These words will make most men easily fall for this woman. Just superb!
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Holy crap is good, what happened to *THUD, GASP* That was me passing out LOL!! Hehehehe. Thanks bro for your fab comment, as always valued and appreciated.
~sugar~
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well Sugar this is one of your best writes i have seen.it's a knockout, it reaches the part other poems don't reach, lines like,her long milky lean legs.
wow and mor wow x
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Glad you enjoyed YK, a pleasure to have you read
thank you for your fab comment
~sugar~
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This is breathtaking, one of the best writes you have done. The feel to it is out of this world.
Good luck hon
All the best
Emma
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Glad you enjoyed Em, always a pleasure to have you read.
~sug~
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now I know why you are the Queen in Erotica
Amazing, brilliant and beautiful hun
I cannot begin to even challenge such a write as yours
Penned perfection
I love it
Best wishes in this contest and keep on writing such fantastic poetry
Julie
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What can I say...my muse was with me for a change, instead of on holiday
Glad you enjoyed,thank you for your lovely comment
~sugar~
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I hate to guess!
But sometimes, the style is so familiar. This is a great piece with a true climactic finish. You have managed the other viewpoint very clearly in this very engaging tale. Erotica that stuns in its storytelling.
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Thanks hon, glad you enjoyed
Love ~sweetness~ xxx
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