I look at her as hot water runs down my back,
and wonder if, after all these years
she still sees me as I see her,
untouched by their passage.
And wonder more, if she still loves me
or has merely grown comfortable
with the flow of time.
She flushes the toilet and as if I’d spoken aloud,
she smiles her special smile,
gently caresses my face
and touches her lips to mine.
“I love you handsome, she says.”
And my heart soars.
As the bathroom door closes,
reflected in the mirror, made misty by my shower,
I’m sure I see his smiling face looking back at me.
The strong young man of twenty-five,
the one I used to be.
It is the briefest of glimpses and
as I take my towel from the hook
he has gone.
Author notes
A slightly different look at love.
A contest entry
- The Clock Ticks by Dead Hair.
700 points, ended March 13, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THE ULTIMATE LOVE STORY by bookworm987.
400 points, ended February 15, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - That is some deep sh** by once.
650 points, ended February 14, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS! OPTIONS! OPTIONS! by Emotional-wreck.
440 points, ended February 18, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options contest(prewrites accepted) by your angers a gift.
1000 points, ended February 23, 67 entries
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625 points, ended March 8, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Loves Delight by karma-n-peace.
1100 points, ended October 7, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prompted by Violent Serenity.
1200 points, ended March 25, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GIVE ME YOUR BEST by Mila7.
600 points, ended March 24, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Lead Me On by Amandainlove.
700 points, ended March 22, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell Me About Your Marriage (contest) by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended March 29, 26 entries
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800 points, ended March 22, 55 entries
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700 points, ended April 1, 64 entries
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459 points, ended April 15, 147 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - There's a First for Everything... by Lamia.
800 points, ended April 13, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prompt Contest~! by xxFallen Dreamsxx.
475 points, ended April 22, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love and Joy by Sarin Rayne.
650 points, ended June 9, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Great job on the poem.I really enjoyed reading it.Good luck in the contest my friend


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sounds to me like this poem may be a story to us, but a memory to you. good job
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that poem.... i love how you delve into thought and whatnot....
what a curious question that is though...
i love your take on love, and im glad you entered.
thanks, and best of luck.
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Aw..that was nice haha. Funny this poem reminds me of a friend of mine for some reason...oh well. Anyhoo...this was very cute and it's always a nice change to read about gentle and maturing love. I think too many poems deal with the exploding emotions and all that comes in the beginning haha. There needs to be more poems like this. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest

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Not my type of write, but I loved this. Great job! Thanks for entering my contest! Good luck! I'm honored to have you show your work here!


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Great write.
Good luck. -
This was very sweet.

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Very refreshing! Most poems I read on love and passing time are highly negative. This is both honest and positive, and that makes it so beautiful!
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aw this is so very beautiful. definitely a great love write. keep it up, and good luck in the contest!
~Cado -
Fantastic poem!
Beautiful poetry my friend. Be sure to never give up your quill to dig in the ditches. The imagery within your words was fantastic and really brought the poem to life.
I would suggest breaking the poem up a bit though. Line breaks help keep the flow and eases the reader through. Well I think so anyway.
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You touched on a part of love that I had not seen in the other poems entered.
That touch of insecurity that sneaks up along with almost telepathic connection between two people who have grown together throughout the years.
This has a feeling of a mature love with securities contentment and still the blessing of passion.
Written well with vivid imagery that warms the heart.
Thank you for entering and what a wonderful write. -
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knickerdew
Thank you for your comments. I truly appreciate the feedback.
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This is just a wonderful write. I mean wow, this was good. Very impresive indeed. You wrote through the mind from the heart and it turned out to be a great peice. You've realy done a fantastic job on this. It had such imagery it felt like any person who read this would feel like it just happened to them awhile ago. Like a distent but strong memory. Again, nice write. Best of luck and I hope all is well
oh, and thank you for following my rules
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shannanagan
Just some words in poem form from an old lover to a new. Maybe after thirty years or so together, you'll feel the same and write something similar to other young lovers. Thank you for your comments.
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Wonderful
short, but very well done. So very creative. Best of luck in the contests

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wow this is so deep. good luck!
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Wonderfully Candid
Thank you for sharing this intimate setting with us.
It is real, unpretentious, and honest.

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