Two more quarters
And I could go home
Get away and get gone
Some dead hombre singing so long
But he’d locked the door
A torn cover over old faces
Remembered in the dark of confession
Blessed
Never
Pounding on the glass
Toes like balehooks
Grinding across the floor
She danced in front of me
A lie
A ballerina
twirling about in that terrible
scream that she’d screamed
when she died
So was the rosary
Wrapped tightly around his Saturday Night Special revolver
Gouges reaching deep into the carpet
The detective shouting
burst through the door
But I was gone
Just some whispery smoke and the perfume of sulfur
And four bloodstained dollar bills
stuck to the table
Author notes
feb 9
Option A - ticket stub
A contest entry
- Comments Contest Version 2.0 by Bean Sidhe.
700 points, ended April 3, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Respect is asked for, given and understood... :)
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This reads very much like the John Sandford "Prey" series of books. Very interesting. Different from what I have read so far in this contest, and thus, it stands out.
I liked the tone of the poem, somewhat dark but with a nearly hidden undertone of sarcastic humor.
I found the the images of a dancing woman, with the grace of a ballerina, and a rosary wrapped revolver clever and quite creative.
Very nicely done! Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest!
- Beán Sidħe -
Wow, this is really different. I really like the last stanza! Thanks for entering my contest. Good luck. It’s an honor to have you show your work here!
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huh, this is different. I like a lot of the elements of this piece. I'm not sure I like the over all idea behind it, but I like a whole lot of what's in it, or at least how it's described.
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The overall idea? ...I think I'm still trying to figure that out myself.
I have bits and flashes of scenes from a movie...a detail from a book. Just fragments...
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This is so cool. I love the first stanza a lot.
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