my humble little poem,
sits here, unread
a tiny little vessel,
carved of driftwood
and given a heart
it floats__
on a sea of words,
with sails unfed
I gave it a name,
called it; me
on the horizon,
it’s haven;
for resting gulls,
and moon-glow
nights
rockaway-
rockaway-
the storm soon comes
another little treasure,
buried, at sea
Author notes
poems
A contest entry
- Why Did I Join Again? (Rant Included) by Allyce May.
13200 points, ended March 10, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I have a couple of little suggestions if I may be so bold
You have "tiny little" in such quick succession it is slightly off-putting. Also, I would replace all the ellipsis or get rid of them entirely. I think you need a colon after "called it". This is just my humble opinion though
I really like the message you are conveying in the poem though. It really is a pretty little piece. It seems to indicate how small our thoughts are in this world, but you have given yours a voice
Thank you for entering
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ive given thought to your suggestion and have edited some
i hope the results are an improvement,let me know...
sometimes we dont see what others see, being we are to attached to our own creations
thanks for the imput
mal -
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Fabulous!
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Wonderful expression of hope amidst chaos...yearning for better times. Bravo!
Mariana
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There is a soft weight to your poetry that shines here, an unassuming measure of self, naked, chanting of yearning and landscapes of universal truth. All in such a wee poem, caught on an electronic breeze. Heady stuff, my friend...
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oh lovely! This had quite the cadence to it! LOVED it!
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Hardly unread! And what a great little poem this is. There are no weights or measures, no rules
or guides, by which you can fix the worth of
a poem. True lovers of poetry are not necessarily lovers of true poetry, if there is such a thing. Many times, in varying moods and tenses,
I have seen poets give thier imagination a holiday, with this question: What kind of short poem
in the English language would I myself best like
to have written? The answer steadfastly: This is it.
Good luck in the contest.
~ criss ♥
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W....hy? I think I can answer that. Because you're one of us. A poet chimp in this monkey house at the Zoo of AP just like the rest of us.Fleas and all. Ha! ha! And what are you talking about? I read your tiny bananas as well as your big-uns. I've always thought poets write for various reasons. Some because they are inspired in general in life and have a deep seeded need to express those inspirations. Just like actors,painters,sculptors and other great minds. It's a driving force. Ok,I'll can it . And comment on your poemy now. oh,I think I already have in a conversational method. However,it's not titled "me". What's up with that? I'm kidding ya. This was an expressive poem on the reasons this author writes. I like the sailing poet sheets reference and the treasure lost at sea metaphor.But your sheets certainly aren't lacking in wind words of poetry.I only feel comfortable saying all the silliness above the critique because I know you through your muse's compass you navigate with.
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Unique is not
what I would call you.. a poet that has very little to say?, and yet a lot you do in a very few words, I like these itttle bitty poems...ya u are unique to say the least !lol
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cool
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I like your poems.
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I agree with Lane, Mal. You have your own unique style and your "little poems" are deep and meaningful...they float with sails full of wind. I too appreciate your voice...keep on writing the way you do!
~ Nicolette
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Nicolette ...anyone who reads the delicate poetry you write,would truly understand why you are top of my list of exceptional ap poets...i am honored you read my tiny poems
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none of your poems are buried at sea....they shine like pink seashells under a June sun and glitter like sand-sparkles
Oh, how I love your poetry...Love, lane
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ohh lane ...the poetry i love to read, such as yours and other exceptional poets on this site, for some reason i cannot write like them...wishing i could...
mally -
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never wish to write like someone else, mally. each voice is distinctive and beautiful in its own right, and yours is a voice i need to hear through poetry. if we all sounded the same, where would the melody go?
love, lane
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well i am unique...but still!
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