It's cold.
Icy tears slide from glimmering blue eyes.
Where are the warm arms to hold me?
Current events cause foggy memories to become clear once more.
Your hand on my face.
A different winter chill.
Soft quavering verses choking from a young girl's throat.
Stifled sobs echo in a silent neighborhood.
Tear trails sting with cold.
The cold breaches my skin to the bone where it finds it is not alone.
Failures shine bright in my mind.
I couldn't wake you.
I couldn't end it.
I lost the second and third patches in my heart where you used to be.
One driven off by incompetence and misunderstanding.
The other shuffled away like you.
Big raw empty space that starts spilling the memories.
I wish it would stop.
I don't want to hear that little girl sing.
I don't want to see you sleeping when I close my eyes.
Please make it stop.
It's starting again.
'As long as I’m living my Daddy you’ll be.'
Author notes
Sorry if you think this is crap. I can't sleep I can't think. I have to be clear eyed in the morning so that I can help my love plan his father's funeral. It just brought back those memories that I had forced to fade and be vague. Now I can't function without writing every day. So Comment or don't. Like it or not. Here it is and I am not changing a thing. Welcome to my severely addled mind.
Comments
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Dear Bunny luv26: I can feel your emotions coming through clearly here. Love, Janjan xoxo
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I don't think you should change a thing anyway—it's raw and powerful and perfect and YOURS. Sometimes going back and tweaking things to make a poem sound better actually strips away the feeling you had when you wrote it. I love the line "failures shine bright in my mind." Thank you for posting, and I hope that spilling these words helped you heal.
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I will tell you, this is a stunning write! Truly heartfelt- and though it is dark, considering the circumstances, worth it. I really enjoyed the way this flowed. It made sense to me. And I know what you mean about your hubby not reading your workwithout being forced, mines the same way. I gave up awhile ago trying to get him to read it! A wonderful write!
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powerful and moving. good write
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raw
this is emotionally and beautifully written its sad and the feelings you are expressing are so real,the lose of a loved one reaps through us all and effects each and everyoone around in so many ways, your pleas are so strongly put here. i want to put my arms round you myself!!
and no its not crap, how can ones emotional pain which you feel be crap! x x x
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