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That girl is me.

You see her smile and you see her laugh
but do you know how she feels inside?
just because she seems so happy to you
doesn't mean she has no secrets she has to hide.

Do you know the shit she goes through?
Everyday having to live such a life 

not being able to eat cause shes afraid

cutting herself continuously with a knife.

 

Having to cover up all her deepest fears

with no one there to wipe away her tears

having to live a life with so many lies

having to live with the desire to just die.

 

Look closely now and tell me what you see

can you see her longing to be free?

cant you see the pain and hurt in her eyes?

please open your eyes and see that girl is me.

 

 

 

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • smitaanand
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    The pain and grief is very vivid very palpable like that wound that aches and throbs stubborns and mutely shrieks to be relieved.Thanks glad you shared this is amazing in depth and the raw emotion bring a thefeeling of deja vu back from memory lane,this deserved the gold earned for the sheer honesty, sincerity and intensity of emotion shared with panache and depth that makes tears flow in sympathy.Thankks for this readand congrats for the gold trophy...


  • lesbian-in-love
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    This was really well written and very enjoyable to read. It was really good. I enjoyed it so much. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest.


  • serenity silvermoon
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    this poem was sad and i know how you feel i used to cut myself but its been 7 months since the last time i am sorry you feel this way if you need someone to talk to i will be right here for you thank you for sharing good luck in the other contests keep up the good work


  • XxNinjaNemoxX
    September 16

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.
    I found it a little awkward at times, it could have flowed better. But I liked it.
    Thanks for entering and best of luck
    xoxo.

  • izzy1804
    September 4

    Edit | Reply
    W-O-W very powerful, emotional read. I love how the change in rhyme scheme is so smooth And I love the message throughout....Great write & Good luck.


  • anawarfare
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    you got me from the first stanza. wow
    i loved it. It's my favorite so far.
    I really honestly know exaclty how you feel! this poem is like my life.

    Sometimes, I so badly want to be me, the old me, the one who can life and smile and have fun. But I'm trapped in this...this, HELL. It's horrible.
    It's torture. Pure torture.
    I sometimes wish I didn't have to be fake, and I Could let everyone know how i feel and get help, but as soon as I just let a little portion of how I feel out, everyone wants to lock me up, or tell me I'm stupid. UGH people just don't get it.

    hang in there and keep up the good writes!


  • My-Butt-Is-On-Fire
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    just because she seems so happy to you
    doesn't mean she has no secrets she has to hide

    Everyone has something to hide. It takes a brave soul to blow their cover. Nice job.


  • Emerald-Spirit
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    "You see her smile and you see her laugh
    but do you know how she feels inside?
    just because she seems so happy to you
    doesn't mean she has no secrets she has to hide." I think this reflects on a lot of us. I can also relate. This is a great poem. Love it. Xds-gX

  • mandynicole3418
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    Very emotion and deep, i really love it.I love the part about having to live with the desire to just die. I really can connect to that and it showed me why i actually look forward to death. It really brings the reader in when you ask questions. but you didnt use too much which is good.


  • Ez Writer silver member
    March 23

    Edit | Reply
    A powerful & poignant write . It deeply
    touches the heart . Thank you for sharing.
    Best Wishes ! Friend Easy


  • xXxBrokenDragonxXx
    March 6
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    It is wonderful, very. Your name might be starving for perfection, but hon, in my opinion, your almost there. Your poem is heart breaking and true about a lot of people, including me. I hope you can get through what is going on in your life,like I am trying to. I am in the middle of horrible things with my family. And why don't people ever see? It is heart breaking.


  • loveangerbeauty
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    omg i swear you wrote this about me
    i have like 5 like this, well not exactly lol but pretty close
    why dont they ever open their eyes and see?? >.<


  • I Messed Up
    February 22
    Edit | Reply

    Ah-mazing!

    This sums up my life a lot!!!!!!!!


  • hopelessly-broken
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    a truely beautiful peice... such pain and emotion, a wonderfully written poem!!!
    i feel, or have felt (in the past) alot of those feelings, and it is hard to deal with thigns sometimes. and you feel so alone, and like no one cares enough to notice... or maybe ur just a little too good at hiding it, but just know... you dont have ot hide thigns, its ok to feel those thigns, because the odd are some of your close friends are feeling the same way, but there just too scared to say it to you.

    if you need to tlka i am!!!!

    luv always HB
    xox

  • A-muse-in-writer
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    Awwww, well you can be yourself on here, a mask is something hard to keep up, if you try to hard you never learn to take it off, sometimes honesty is best cause no one can be strong all the time I am here to talk to.


  • xxSerendipityxx
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    I LOVE this poem! I can't pick just one part I like the most because I really enjoyed the whole peice. Im sorry that you have to go through all this.... If you ever wanna talk you know you can talk to me. Great write, LOVE it <3


  • Fr33BirdFaLLin
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    i loved it! *wipes away tears from your face*


  • Flowergirl
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    wow very powerful work i love it the pain crawls across the page with every word of emotion i truely love your work. nice job and keep it up..


  • DinkyDiver gold member
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad and its like reading me... i hope you get well x x

  • starving-to-survive
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    This is heartbreaking. I cant stop crying babe. Please dont do anything silly, i love you so much and would die without you. Brilliant write as aways. I hope you are ok im so worried about you :'( xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


  • CherokeeSiren
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    I wouldn't change a thing. It's great. I liked the line "look closely and tell me what you see" nice job there.

1 - 21 of 21