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The Poet's Creed

Dearly beloved
this is a dying age.
I'm tired of romping
in your battle cage.

Like bears and tigers,
A beast beyond others
we have been nicknamed
'word choreographers'.

We are the yellow ribbons,
Dear poet and poetess,
Tied around a royal tree,
Like prince and princess.

We'll laugh and sing, dance and play
In this barred, prison-like cage.
With words like thick velvet songs
Making the world into our stage.

Author notes

I definitely agree with what you say. The people who introduced me to the site don't even write poetry anymore, they just use the site to chit-chat with each other all day. I'm with you, I love reading the real stuff with words or form or true meaning. Not somebody's drama filled life story. That's not what poetry is about. And still, if that's what you're gonna do, at least try being elegant about it. Not "my life sucks, this guy dumped me, my life sucks, what am i going to do?" How about "the raindrops fall as I walk down the road. visions of you dance like sugarplums in my head"

Okay that's a little silly, but you get what I'm saying, right?

So, I made something up. I even tried to rhyme. I hope it's okay. I'm not so good when I write on demand. But I thought the idea was interesting.

A contest entry

rather waste some time with you.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • camus gold member
    June 30
    Edit | Reply
    I believe in the truth that this poem narrates - that one specific way in which we differ fundamentally from the "beasts" is in our ability to feel and express cultured thoughts. In many ways, we are still beasts but hopefully not in this way. Minor criticism : your rhyme while being original at times felt a little forced. Good luck. Tony


  • Allyce May gold member
    February 11

    Edit | Reply
    lol, I like this I don't know a great deal about rhyme but the message within made me smile. As you know, I can relate! I especially love your first two lines.

    I think your meter might have been off a little and I don't feel it was necessary to use the word cage twice; other than that, good job!

    Thanks for entering


    • Fixing Tomorrow
      February 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comment. I'm not expecting to do anywhere as well as you are looking for with this. But the idea was interesting so i had to put something down. I'm no good at rhyme, but for some reason I thought I should try!


  • PerpetualNight
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    Although metaphors do improve poetry sometimes straight forwardness is the best idea. Although i also agree the whole life sucks blah blah bah is stupid...

    An ps I still write poetry


    • Fixing Tomorrow
      February 9
      Edit | Reply
      Well sometimes, but if you're going on ranting about life. That's not what AP is for! lol. And I guess you do, but I still rarely see poems from people I know on my homepage. Generally AP friends.

1 - 5 of 5