My burning fists pound and pound,
Until the earth is naught but gray,
Until my body drifts astray,
--------------------------------------------
On dusty barren earth I lie,
Sandy, shard like tears I cry,
Awaiting clouds of sun burnt walls,
Softy whispers, softly calls,
---------------------------------------------------
Corrosive grays and earthy brown,
Gnashing teeth and deepened frown,
Frozen river, stabbing screech,
Attached to my heart is loves leech.
Author notes
Hope this is ok!! 
A contest entry
- You choose the picture contest. by Black Narcissus.
16000 points, ended February 12, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP X Factor 2 - Auditions by sideways hourglass.
550 points, ended February 27, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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last line, should be "love's leech"
in total honesty, i don't remember this poem, but i like what i see here.
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its beautiful
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An amazing masterpiece!!!
Wishing you the best of luck in the contest!!
Peace always, xx Cyn 


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wonderful rhyming
thank you for sharing!

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I truly liked this poem.
I am not a fan of rhyme, but you made it work well for you.
A skill that is crafted over time.
I however would edit the last stanza.
The other two were immensely powerful.
The last needs to be cleaned up, I believe. -
yes.
You show enough potential, I think through boot camp you'll be able to clean this up. -
No.
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Yes
Too many colors, in my opinion. However, what you have here shows potential. The first stanza was my favorite part. -
very visual and unique. i love your take on that picture.
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loved this
fav stanza
"On dusty barren earth I lie,
Sandy, shard like tears I cry,
Awaiting clouds of sun burnt walls,
Softy whispers, softly calls,"
Great Write
Shuberth

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Excellent
Wonderful word choice. Congrats on the bronze. It was well deserved. -
Ahhh.. I think I have been in this place before! Such depth of angst and sadness in this. The rhyme and flow is spot on too! Very nicely done!


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excellent
Very creative and well done. such a masterful write. Best of luck in the contest.

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Though the poem was quite short the rhyme was perfect. It was very tight and flowed perfectly. Hugely enjoyable and descriptive.
Thanks.

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considered becoming a poet miki?
You are amazing! how do you manage to rhyme so well?
We could study this at school! -
This is a lovely piece! For someone your age, I normally don't expect much, but you have something here, the beginnings of something amazing ripening. Just stick with it and push yourself and let yourself grow, see where this site can take you! You are a whole lot better than a lot of adult writers I come across. If you ever need or want advice, you are more then welcome to ask!


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Very beautiful
Your writing is so expressive, and I really loved your use of vocabulary. My complements to you!


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I like the pic you chose and your words fit it so well. Great write and best of luck to you!
Linda

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HOLY CRAP THIS IS SOO GOOD!!!!!! I WOULD GIVE U A MILLION CLAPS (but i hav no points
)
UR A FREAK! xxx -
OH-MY-GOSH!!! miki this is stunning! its got soo much emotion and the flow/form is brilliantly suited
I LOVE THIS!!!
its great and beautiful and amazing and soo my fav!
keep it up mix
and good luck for the contest, im sure you will do really well 
xxxxxx


















