he fell into her world
drinking dreams instead of coffee
whispering stories
of triumphant revival
in her ear
the days were like feathers
floating away
and she would imagine naked geese
shivering but happy
outside
they darted hand in hand
chasing bubbles
or butterflies
[they weren't quite sure which]
they might have had
lifetimes
but dreams are flimsy things
all sparkle and mist and shivery lace
so he drifted away
riding the air
she squinted and saw
a goose bidding him goodbye
again mistaking its shuddering sobs
for laughter
Author notes
i picked prompt number 2
http://hengie.deviantart.com/art/flutterings-in-my-mind-49597055
you are what you eat.
consuming dreams is a surefire way to become one.
A contest entry
- Picture Prompts Surreal,Conceptual and Emotional by stargazer..
1050 points, ended February 13, 45 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Suggestions? Thoughts? Criticism? Feelings? Unrelated stories? I'll take them all.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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The first line and first verse are very strong and pull the reader into your poem. I love the magical fairy tale quality to this. It makes the ending very real. This gives it a surreal edge as well. You handle all like a pro. My kudos to you for a delightful yet stunning piece.
Love, Tom B.
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I absolutly loved the imagery that played through my mind on this! The flow was perfect, rolling off the tongue like thick honey as each syllable was spoken. A beautiful and rich write!
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This is really great, well, for a free-verse poem. lol, just kidding. I really like it, and after looking at the image and reading it over, found I liked it even more. It fits really well with the prompt. Nice job!
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Wow, this is one of the best free verses pieces I can recall reading on this site in a very long time. The imagery is interesting and different, yet extremely vivid and not at all cryptic. I love the rhythm that this runs with (and the humor sprinkled in. Best of luck in the contest with it, it's a winner to me.
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I really like the imagery in this poem, and I really like the ending. I can't find anything I would change about this.
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