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channeling an unholy past





the earth
buzzes
a slow orbit

this sun of
a moon
lobs
his soft ball

a pearled
glow

my fragile
neck

he once surmised
that i am incapable
of hurting
anything

i lie
by omission

never speak of
the killings;

beneath a hot sun

dead flies
mid-coitus- small moans

i gobstop spit
in my palm-  flesh
him pale

lick
his
lips

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

m

Author notes

still reworking some stuff... feel free to tell me it's shit..

no really, do me

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • pocket pixie gold member
    May 8
    Edit | Reply
    this is the shit.


  • Patpowers silver member
    March 15
    Edit | Reply
    Nice work Cat! I will be glad to see the finished product! THANKS!


  • Heart Sutra
    February 15
    Edit | Reply
    I certainly have not heard "gobstop spit" in ages!


  • Oleander
    February 14
    Edit | Reply
    Loved it!!! So poetic

  • A Prophet of 3 gold member
    February 10
    Edit | Reply
    actually i like it ...


  • Polaja Greeters member
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    I love the "i lie / by omission" section of this poem - it is a perfect join between the top and bottom halves of this poem (which I read as having a different focus) - brilliantly done I can't think of any edits.



    Polly

  • silverfish
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    the poetess: so she would hurt a fly, eh. dark, but thereby knowing something of how the slow hand can put a lover into a petit mort. and the reader dispatched by the same artistic hand. -midfish


  • truembrace
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    there is so much interesting imagery beyond "lie by omission" -- yet, my brain stopped just there with thinking that's one poem almost on its own. You've more to say than to leave it there though. It just seems as though it's in two parts in my brain. The first part ending with that line and the second part quite interesting with images - just didn't seem as strong as the previous section to me for some reason. (not sure why at all).

    Really though, shit?? ummm... that's impossible for you. Very impossible so don't attempt to dispute that. lol


  • quietly burning
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    with relatively few and carefully placed words, you stir up a flurry of ideas. a progression of introduction, suggestion, tension and RELEASE lol.

    as always, nicely done


  • Crowheart
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    well...since you brought it up...ahem...(nervous to critique a master) but the second stanza seems to throw it out of orbital bliss for me...but once that is gone it obviously widens the gap and leaves the third and fourth stanza flailng in zero gravity. I'll just shut up now... :}


    • Cat gold member
      February 8
      Edit | Reply
      you may be on to something... master?... hardly.. thanks for your help


      • Crowheart
        February 8
        Edit | Reply
        Oh!...did I...say ....master? ...um meant the use of wordplay is...uh...masterful! Yeah, thats the ticket...


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    Sounds a bit kinky to me...Lord forgive me for saying that on a Sunday.

    Do I have to say novenas now?
    “i gobstop spit
    in my palm- flesh
    him pale

    lick
    his
    lips”

    Jeeze us Joseph and Maaaaary!

1 - 15 of 15