on our first date
you gave me a red rose
and went when the night was late
you winked your eyes
and twitched your toes
i kept that rose a long time
until the devil spoke
and our first date felt rewind
it started on a Friday
the sun was very hot
and the sky was tidy
i loved you Lots
but on that day
you were on the top of a building
shouting out to die
i didn't know what to say
i didn't want it this way
i slowly convinced you to come down
and don't give me a frown
but as you came you slipped
and banged on the pavement
i stopped breathing
i didn't believe what i was seeing
you committed suicide in-front of me
i ran to you in tears
i found out how much i really care
and how much i cannot bare
you didn't say anything
you just opened your hand
there was a red rose
you winked you eye and twitched your toes
Author notes
This did not happen to me i just wrote this poem./the rose
A contest entry
- round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 2009, 1454 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any thoughts?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wow. I like this. You have a great imagination
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Nice job, as always! Tragedy is hard to write. I thought the first two stanzas were enchanting!
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wow im touched. suicide should never happen!!!
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AMAZiNG
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Tragedy!
Hi Lana, I enjoyed reading this poem. Like me recently you've decided to write a tragic poem. I liked how ure poem told a story and ure rhyming skills are getting better ll the time... not sure I got the last line, was he dead or not?
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he was dying
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