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Tree Dweller Blossoms

I lay under a tree
with a book
in my hand
and a drink in the other

Petals softly dance
tickling my feet
while they whisper to,
Come play

My eyes glance
at the outer rims
of my novel
and I secretly smile

Golden light shines through
the branches of my tree
highlighting the buttery texture
of each Sakura petal

Grabbing these beauteous blossoms
in the palms of my hands
I blow them away, sharing another
secret glint of smile

You can hear the petals lightly laugh
finding their next tree dweller to  Come play

Author notes

Simple and Short

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Comments


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    April 17

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. I like the form overall. The visuals are exceptional.

    You have a misspell. I would also use italics in the last two words instead of quotation marks while
    also putting those two words in another line.

    Thank you for sharing it! Sorry for the delayed comment.


  • FlamingoCroquet
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    It has a very serene feel to it, which is interesting, because the shortness of the stanzas and verses would normally make a poem seem jumpy or fragmented. It has a haiku like feel, even without all of the falling petal connotations.

    I feel like the image itself is not that interesting, perhaps you could spice it up with more analysis or metaphor? Aside from that, I find this piece very nice. It feels like it is structured even though the stanzas and verses do not necessarily follow a pattern.

    Effective imagery, though like I said, more metaphor is available as an option for you.

    Overall, very good