It was a grey gloomy day, and the presence of the
sun was sadly missed by the Motherfuckers.
The surf was low, the tourists high, and about.
Motherfucker #1 -- Dude, I miss the sun...
Motherfucker #2 -- Yeah, but how about them Yankees?
Motherfucker #1 -- Remember when I accidentally really
fucked my mother dude, that night, East of the great West
And the light bulbs all exploded, and the wall-paper caught
on fire... Jesus, you know, I would have never thought...
The odds, you know?
Motherfucker #2 -- Yeah, you got a stoagie?
The first Motherfucker, in a fluid motion, whips out leaf &
his fire box, and bequeaths of it the light, which it does, and
the other Motherfucker then, indeed, has his smoke snack.
A seagull (hopping up) kindly asks the Motherfuckers,
"If perhapsing they would be most kind as to flick it a fry?"
But the Motherfuckers (shaking their heads) ignoring the beaked
rat. The seagull does his magical dance for potatoes, but
a fat-cunt on her way to the hippo trench, kicks it, sending
it flapping out of control into a trash receptacle. There, it gets
its wings, and finds a cold dog wrapped in runny sauce.
Motherfucker #1 -- I mean, how should I've known that lady
was my mother? Christ, she kept saying she wasn't.
Motherfucker #2 -- Yeah, dude, and that's what they're supposed
to say. See, and then you get the early breakfast, and the big move in.
Motherfucker #1 -- Dude, but that's not the digs. What if say,
I actually gave her my God juice, and she harvested it there
within her tubes of 'things that come from tubes'? I'd be a
Daddybros, and see, that's hard on the softball swing.
Motherfucker #2 -- Huh, yeah dude, that's an excellent point.
So what happened?
Motherfucker #1 -- What do you mean?
Motherfucker #2 -- What's different now, after, I mean.
Because, I mean, you're really a MOTHERfucker.
Motherfucker #1 -- I don't know, I get to feel luckier, like
I won something you know, and It's on the way, you know?
Motherfucker #2 -- Ah, yeah dude, totally.
The two Motherfuckers get up and proceed to an obvious
group of mothers. The first Motherfucker does his magical
Motherfucking mating call then greeting, but as luck would
have it, right when he finished the last series of instinctual
gestures, Seagull shit, far flung, makes contact with
his face from a good mile up. The second Motherfucker,
(horrified) tries to pick up the sacred ritual where his friend
left off, but it's too late. The Mothers have gotten away.
Author notes
Written February 20th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Poems or Short Stories by NoUseForAName.
300 points, ended June 28, 2006, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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hahahahahahahahah- I feel like I just read a short by Tom Robbins. I will back to comment in a little while. I'll just say for now, that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Still chuckling.
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brilliant
hope kasten finds a category for brilliant
if she don't, then what's the point
liked the whole pool of mothers and fuckers
this was a party on the patio
Peace Muddy -
Hahahahahahahaha, fucking brilliant!
Although, I'm sort of wondering which category of mine you think this falls into. I'm gonna go look at what I said, looking for a loophole, cuz I want this poem to win...but if it doesn't fall into one of the categories that I asked for... -
"The surf was low, the tourists high"- funny line. Very cool write, dialogue in a poetic story...you have a very original way of looking at things. The literal interpration of the motherfucker was great...thanks for entering
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lol. a very subtle use of the word motherfucker is to be found in this poem
my favourite lines were definitely:
"Motherfucker #2 -- Yeah, dude, and that's what they're supposed
to say. See, and then you get the breakfast, and the big move in."
And:
"but the mothers had gotten away." (I can definitely see a gary larson joke on this)
the drama/story was awesome! loved every part of it. bookmarking it once again.
you have any more of these?
tf -
Weevils are indeed cool. So are Corn Borers and Colorado Potato bettles. Reminiscent of the writings by those daring young men of the 60's who tried to revolt against the predicability and stagnant nature of writing. Beyond the shock value lies an interesting mental exercise--and anything different causes us to think--assuming people are actually capable of constructive thought.
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Is W for weevil, because weevils are cool.
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Am I to assume you are unfamiliar with the Group W bench? Ah...the younger generation have no heed of the Greater Shamans. Sigh...
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masterpiece
holy seagull shit. you were right, motherfucker. was too wasted to read it last night. but it friggin snapped me out of my hangover this morning. framed as a master piece. ttyl. -
oh man, that's funny. I needed a laugh. Great story. Very funny and well done
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Yah...why do I feel like I'm sitting on the Group W bench and listening to you and Arlo rap about the good old days?
Odd, yet strangely coherent with context beyond the shallow verbiage frosting. I am at peace within my soul - your words have offered a momentary salvation and balm.
Yah. Vas gut. -
"Motherfucker" is such a fun word... a supremely naughty and strange verbal construction (The word, not so much the poem. Or maybe that, too.). I like your analysis.
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Like no way that's so tripendicular!! Yeah I knew it was I just wanted you to talk to me. Hi
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It is a story, you tit.
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always interesting and never dull and boring its got motherfuckers in and turds...for a moment i had an image of big brown things then i remebered seagulls turds are white and sloppy so i felt relieved...i thought i had forgotten to worry about being hit in the mouth with seagull turds...the runny sauce on the hotdog made me feel sick but none of the other stuff surprisingly enough obviously food is really important to me..was there a big fat person in there kicking something...yep you have done it again and pushed some things into my brain that have settled and wont get out.....the mothers got away i was very glad to hear. see you do have a heart...
Edited on Feb 20, 5:18 p.m. because ''. -
haha, where do you come up with these stories, man you almost got me convinced it's a story
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