The morning sun was awakened to
The ashes all around
The pluming smoke that filled the air
Leapt up from off the ground
The trees were dead – the grasses gone
The sky so dull and black
And everywhere the sun shone down
No living thing looked back
The burning smell of flesh was strong
The flames leapt wild and red
The morning sun came out to see
An earth that was so dead
Across the lands, it traveled so
In search of life to find
But nothing did the sun there see
No life was left behind
A wicked war – a deadly war
Was waged upon each land
Our earth destroyed by so much hate
By battles fought by man
The morning sun thus bowed its head
And the tears began to fall
There was nothing left to smile upon
Not one thing lived at all
A morning wind – a heavenly wind
Blew sadly cross the skies
Just dust was left to fill the lands
And the tears the gods had cried
26.3.2000
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Comments
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great imagery
And everywhere the sun shone down
No living thing looked back
These were my favorite lines. Great poem! It's like the end of an epic story. I like the feeling of barrenness and desolation. I think it would be even more desolate without the personification of the sun. Then there really would be nothing living in any sense.
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Thanks, mate. Glad you liked it. As the last verse tells, the sun did indeed die along with everything else. Thanks for reading.
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Fantastic writing here! Excellent rhyme, excellent rhythm, excellent storyline. Very well done!
Rory
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Thanks, mate. Your comments are most welcomed and I am glad you liked it.
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once again, excellence
In your ideas, in the way you put
thoughts into your poem
All of your stories highlight the
talent of a true poet
Artie
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Thanks, Artie. Appreciated.
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a mighty portrait of war this is!
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Superb Plus +
Wow, incredible, to say the least. Your poem reminds me of a book by Rachel Carson: "A Silent Spring". You certainly have penned a potent piece in relation to the illustration. Also reminds, me of my poem, which you may have already read: "Puddled Schemes and Rusted Dreams".
Links in a moment.
For more info on Rachel Carson's book, just click on this link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_Spring
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rachel_Carson
For my poem:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4983569 -
This is a beauty. The rhyme, rhythm etc is fine.
When I started to read i thought it was a brand new one about the devastating bush fires, but it is more than that, even though it was written in 2000. Armageddon caused by mankind ?
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Thanks, Bob. I suppose the start could have referred to the firestorms we are having. Thank you for reading.
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