Words bound
through darkened corridors of my mind
like coy lovers daring me to catch them.
But I do not follow.
The darkness frightens me.
I do not follow.
I am safe in the light.
Safe from the worlds
they might open to me.
I accept myself, a fool,
until frustration with this half-life
erodes the empty shell of comfort,
forcing me to venture out,
to gape into the horrible blackness
I created
and groping, search
for what I really am
beneath the tortured, questioning facade
of awareness.
- Mark Rickerby
Author notes
Written February 20th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Words by Angelo di Luce.
480 points, ended July 19, 15 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
-
Among one of the best
-
He who dares wins, as they say [joke]
Deep meanings in this write
Thank you
-
You should post that. Please let me know when you do. I'd like to read it. What a coincidence! Great minds think alike, eh? lol
Take care,
Mark -
omg!!!!! this is sooo cool but slightly unnerving. i have a poem that is almost exactly like this. i haven't posted it yet. but really the only difference is that my corridors had lots of dust and it was full of demons that were chasing me and then locked me inside. i am really gonna have to post it now. but neways i really love the way that you are talking about having to leave your comfort zone, come out of your shell to truly find yourself. another awesome write. keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
it ain't easy- having all those words swirling around one's mind and soul and knowing they must come out... and knowing they must come from you in a sort of string, a thread, that you will weave into a tapestry of vivid colour. You can only keep the door barred for so long, before the pressure behind it becomes too much to bear. The words will come. If not in a thread, than in an explosion of jumbled hues.
This is a lovely expression and very well written. I'm so pleased to have happened upon your stuff. I look forward to pigging out on it in the very near futre. Cheers!
Tilly -
Definately a poets poem ... the curse or the gift..."awareness" ...hmmm :-)
Fantastic ending :-)
I like this... flows well and has good rhythm.
Enjoyed,
~ Wendy
-
I once 'drove MY Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry'...so I headed for the river instead... ...another amazing write from you...I feel the Heart of this piece...& steer clear of the Dark as best as I can..wonderful write; this phrase in particular struck my eyes: '...facade of awareness...'...well done, my Friend!!!...swan
Edited on Jul 18, 8:40 p.m. because ''. -
Thanks, David
I've got quite a few free verse poems here, though most of my poems lately have rhymed. Habit, I guess. I think I let go the most in prose, which is why I'm concentrating on the novel right now. But I'll take your advice and try to break away from the iambic pentameter for a while in my work here. Thanks for the advice!
Mark -
I actually missed this and this is so far away from your comfort zone both is style and content. This is my suggestion from a mad person to a slightly saner person. Without building a permanent dwelling in this area you should actually visit it more often because your natual style will bring greater light to it while this style will add to the already substantial quality of your narrative work. Because there is something is this area that is having all sorts of trouble getting completely free of you soul. Stay a little longer in this style and subject and I think you could find a very cathatic release. You are a great writer and this allows you to let go a little more. Good work on this
David -
LOL!!! I dunno... ya' musta had a brain fart or
something....
-
You're absolutely right. The Partridge Family was much cooler. What was I thinking? lol
-
ha ha ha Brady Bunch??
I think we should sit n watch the Partridge
Family, myself.. they seemed a lil less "fake"
than the Brady's
You're welcome!
~Aimee
-
Hey Aimee,
Your perspective is always very interesting and sheds new light on my work for me. I guess we all get so close to our own writing that even we figure out what we were saying gradually. I heard Don McLean in an interview talking about his song American Pie. He said, "I'm still figuring out what that song meant." And he wrote it! haha
Writing is the best way to hold up a mirror to the soul, but the reflection ain't always pretty. And it's almost always uncomfortable. Much easier to crack a soda and watch another Brady Bunch rerun. haha
Thanks!
Mark
-
Thought provoking...
I like how you kept yourself in the light,
it's comfy there...away from the darkness.
Ya' know..that darkness brings such bad things...
why go there? Alot of times, falling into darkness
can't be helped... but in your poem.. I feel your
strength.. forcing yourself to stay where you are.
Very well written!!
~Aimee
-
i like the repitition of "i do not follow" it's like telling yourself, forcing yourself to believe it. the imagery in this piece is beautiful. a wonderful write
~rixi~ -
Didyah see that?! I gots someone to come read your poetry I'm such a good daughter!
Daddy you did a really good job with this one. Vivid discription of the timidness we all face when searching through our own minds to discover ourself.
Good job
Your daughter -
nice work as usual mark....thwe form flows perfectly and you have a great way with words and imagery...very impressive...nice work!!...hugs...leanne xxx
-
great
this is my first read of you thanks to meendee86,your adopted ap daughter.i enjoyed your author's page.nice picture.this read was well worth coming your way.you have a firm grasp on the english language and you use it well.musestalker is my angel and she likes you and now i can see why.i may enjoy you as much as i did rhiannon11.she is awesome.good luck -
Mark,
This is great...My writers block poem was bad..but all well, I hate it when i get that...
Great poem...
I am glad to read a new poem by you, cant wait for the next one.
Much Love,
Tammy
-
Your welcome Mark. Your friend has a good way of looking at writers block.
~Amanda~
-
I never heard that Keats line. You're right - it's perfect. Thanks for sharing that with me. I wrote it down and tacked it on the wall.
I hope you're having a nice weekend!
Mark -
Thanks Amanda,
This is my existential take on writer's block but my own blocks usually come from just feeling unmotivated, or that "what's the point?" feeling we all get occasionally.
I was talking with a friend a few years ago and told her that I hadn't written a poem or anything else in over a year. She said, "Well, maybe you just needed to refill the well." I thought that was brilliant. We look at our inability to write as a negative thing but it could just be a time to rest and recharge our resources.
Take care,
Mark -
Hey Adam,
I didn't realize I was "dumping" anybody off . . . but now that you mention it . . . haha
Haven't heard from you in a while. I'll have to pop over to your pages to see if you've written anything new.
See ya,
Mark -
Hi Kerry,
Exactly! Erica Jong said, ""Everyone has a talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads."
That pretty much covers it, huh? haha
See ya,
Mark -
excellent...per usual
Keats said, "Poetry should...strike the reader as a wording of his own thoughts, and appear almost a rememberence..." and of all the definitions I've read or attempted to write about poetry, this seems to me to hold the most concise kernel of truth. And, when I read this poem...I thought, "Ah, yes. That is it." Thank you so much for this excellent and quite evocative poem.
-
10+
You described writers block pefectly in this. My mom Kastleak already said what I wanted to say, so I'll just leave saying that I loved this.
~Amanda~
-
Great job as always...you couldnt have described me any better!...lol! Wonderful metaphors and great way to just carry the reader through and then dump them off and let them fend for themselves at the end.
Thanks...
Dragon -
Noteworthy and significant!
Hey Mark!
This was awesome! I was going to put in italics my favorite lines of this poem, but I couldn't decide, because it was short, and every line significant. Just absolutely great, I like the honest evaluation of writer's block as partly being caused by not wanting to explore deeper into the recesses of your mind, and who you really are, and what you really think, and instead, staying in the comfort zone of the light of your enlightment. To go past previous enlightment, to venture farther into the unknown caves of the subconscious is so very scary. This was very, very thought-provoking and opens up a whole new line of thinking for me.
Thanks!
Seeya soon,
Kerry -
Thanks, Hannah. This is a great idea for a contest and quite a challenge - writing about writer's block. (Sort of a zen thing. haha)
I've always believed that the hardest part about writing a poem or a book, or doing anything grand, is beginning. Some people read an epic poem or novel and think, "How on earth did the author come up with all that? What a creative genius!" I think the answer most authors would give would be, "One line at a time." Each line dictates what the next should be, so a poem or a novel is "unfolded" more than it is written. In fact, it almost writes itself once the first few lines are written. It's just starting that's the hard part. Personally, I will pick lint off the carpet, defrost the freezer, brush the cat, just about anything to avoid confronting the blank page (or computer screen.) But once I start, I wonder why I resisted. Strange.
Anyway, your contest obviously stirred me up, and that's always a good thing. Thanks!
Mark
Edited on Mar 13, 3:46 because ''. -
Terrible feeling is that, and you put it on a very especial way! Nicely done Mark, as usual I enjoyed your write!
Mari
-
Wonderfully original.. and I was very relieved to see you did not resort to cliches. The line that really stuck out the most to me was..
"like coy lovers daring me to catch them.
But I do not follow."
Wonderful metaphor. I really did enjoy this. Surreal, but the meaning is not lost. Good job! Thanks for entering my contest..
~Hannah~
Adding your comment:
1 - 31 of 31
