Your hair may not be like long golden strings.
Red Bull doesn't matter; you give me wings.
Your hair is a beehive or called Bob,
but it still makes my heart throb.
Your eyes are not very big and blue
but love at first sight is seen in you.
[Chorus]
I cannot believe what I just saw.
You're no model but you drop my jaw.
The media say perfection is the law
but I'm always awed by the flaw.
It is so hard to read your stiff upper lips
but your kisses make sure my lids will flip.
While I speak in letters and you talk in signs,
we'll speak the same tongue at Valentine's.
Your smile will never blind the sun
but it radiates that you're the One.
[Chorus]
You fight the norms while you're armed with charms.
You slaughter unfriendly pigs on your Animal Farm.
At the local bar, you need at least three stools.
If others can't see beauty then they're shallow fools.
You're so close but you'll get a cigar anyway
so don't sign up for the Ghost Division, okay?
[Chorus]
Crow's feet and cameltoes do not scare me
and your tails don't make me want to flea.
Your peg leg has put us under scrutiny for so long.
"A band on ship", we cry, as they play our song.
Can you search in your bottomless bag
for love for me between gadgets and rags?
[Chorus 2x]
Author notes
V1: Re(a)d Bull gives you wings!
V5: George Orwell's "Animal Farm"
V6: reference to a poem of mine "Ghost Division".
V7: ponytails, pigtails
In a list
A contest entry
- ARE U A ROCK STAR?! - PROVE IT! by cgirl0410.
650 points, ended April 23, 2009, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best prewritten poems by Blue-Rose Beauty.
1200 points, ended July 16, 2009, 102 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING GOES!! by LonelyAngel.
600 points, ended August 27, 2009, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need To Read by poets whisper.
900 points, ended September 14, 2009, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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very humerous ditty. It got me smiling as I read. Some of the rhyme does seem forced but in a good way, as if you meant them to be that way. thank you for entering †he contest
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I see it was a song, and a good idea for one at that. However, lots of the rhymes seemed very forced as if they did not really fit but you put them there anyway. Nicely written though,
Well done,
Best of luck,
Thanks.
xYx -
I loved the title. I loved the poem. It was so sweet and spoke of true beauty and undying love.
I loved the chorus also.
Favorite lines: Your haair may not be like long golden strings; Red bull doesn't matter, you give me wings.
Those lines made me smile..
Also..
While I speak in letters and you talk in signs,
we'll speak the same tongue at Valentine's.
Hehe. That was sweet.
Overall score: 10/10
Great write! -
Sweet
I didn't like how the poem started off with simple flaws and then went in a humorous direction at the second half, but I really like this poem because of exactly what the chorus says:
"The media say perfection is the law
but I'm always awed by the flaw."
I like this because NO ONE is perfect. What one person likes, another does not. I think this poem expresses that very well.
~*~Gi~*~ -
Me likey! LOL. This was so cute. I'm thinking - ALL AMERICAN REJECTS! Thanx 4 entering. ROCK ON! - cgirl0410
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Yeah, what the wayword warrior said...
I wish more people were doen to earth like you... You sure have a unique view on things..the subjects are the same..but you twist them to a different level of understanding...sorry if I'm talking crap. Guess I just like ur stuuff.
Keep it up.
@>--- -
Wolf Whistle..
Hey man, I enjoyed this poem, it shares with some of your others that I've read a seemingly effortless flow and good sense of humour that adds a soft surface to a poem that highlights social issues of beauty, attraction etc in todays societies. I like your use of language because you tend to use a very down to earth style! Nice stuff
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