Hello! It's me, can't you hear?
It's too late now, I'm lost I fear
Too many days spent in the rain
Now I'm soaked in blood and yesterday's pain
There's not one cut on me, but I'm all red
They're screaming "She's bleeding!" and it echoes in my head
I tried to make them go away, I reached out for her arm
But they pushed me back that day, they did no good just harm
These three days he's tormented me
And you've blocked your eyes so you can't see
He screamed those words and I hid my fear
But you blocked your ears so you can't hear
Endless faults and blasphemies
All these hateful enemies
But you can't hear and you can't see
You lied, you have no love for me!
-Andi
Author notes
-Andi
Parts of this have no basis whatsoever in reality, other parts of it are directly based off of certain moments in my life.
GOT comments??
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
You have done wonders in this poem, it felt so much that it made me write this...
Sometimes we come under the glare of hate
But then that's life that's fate
These twists and turns will fade
The path ahead is always laid!
-
Really intense. I liked it.
-
Ouch, harsh and some dark stuff here, but some really fine rhymes through, indeed! well done all around! bravo!!
-
-
Thank you very much. And I know it's dark, it was a dark time in my life, can't you tell?
-
-
there's two sides to every story. and both sides always believes themselves to be in the right. maybe try taking a different view? sometimes seeing through the eyes of the other, you might not like what they saw in you?
-
This is a really good write, I think the flow is really good and makes the reader get into the poem, it definatly has a great beat to it, and the wrods, create great images.
I felt such strong emotions reading this, angery, hatered, desperation to be understood, this had everything that I liked!
The onyl negative is spellings, there was alot of mistakes, which made me stumble over some of the words, so slightly knocked the flow off target, but get them soted and you have a BRILLANT piece here, as I say this is the sort of writing I like and I really liked this, I read your comment and would love to know the parts that are connected to reality, please message me and let me know.
Great write! -
-
Yeah, I'm an AWFUL typist....I type wickedly fast but it's so full of errors its not worth it, thanks for handling it though. You're automatically cool for it, not too many people would be willing to read stuff like that!
-
-
I really like it. It's great.
-
-
Thank you so much!
You have a good picture, why can't my hair look that nice??
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
