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The silent man with A bleeding mouth



Veins addicted to perfumes-air-swimming smells
that Slash through the air, blades irony;
breaking the pavement into a snake’s tongue,
rendering me confused, divided into two.

I run in opposite directions, trying to locate

north on my broken compass.
Desiring unaccepted closeness in ashes arms as
dusty rain falls your way, shadowing my heart;
my mind’s strings pull me left, the way home.
I leave the way right; you burning alone.

I hove around the crossroad’s spot trying all
along to abandon my unnecessary longing to
be buried in your eyes; your ever green burning
the pieces of my life; I detest you.

Your silence is still pressing on my eardrums;
the silence you failed to break until all my tears
dried out in the sun.
Then you crawl here, head bowed deep… in my hands,
with eyes dripping regret into empty palms.
It’s time I whisper back your silence… & shatter
your eardrums by the words you failed to utter
when my eyes begged them slowly from your tongue:


“I promised to be there & that's where I shall always be”

 

 

 

"A simple lie"~ Says the broken me 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(C) Noor 2/7/2009 

 

 

 

Author notes

Contest prompt:
13. Silver tongue
18. Your the acid in my lungs
26. The silent man with A bleeding mouth

Image found on Google.

Thanks for reading!

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Comments

1 - 28 of 28

  • mcope8050
    June 6

    Edit | Reply

    wow,,, i've read this before

    there is soooo much for one to wrap their mind around in your write,,,, yes you know it,,, here it comes,,,"I'm Simple Minded" and really enjoy the depth of your talent and words you pass on to us all,,,, ANOTHER pleasure to read your treasure,,,lol,,,love MICHAEL!!!!!!!!

  • the imagery in this is incredible and I adore the flow of this. so passionate in your convictions I love it!


  • Raining Kisses silver member
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really strong poem with endless depth, and so many conotations
    its a really excellent poem

  • The silent mouth? mmm, this sounds like a wishful thought on your behalf, as there is a seemingly impossible din to describe. It tells me much here in that, you hover, you go in opposite directions and you go leave with much hate, which is sad. Insightfully, this person is feeling trapped and is asking for some kind of release, wow, this is awesome. Tony


  • SimplyNoodle
    February 9
    Edit | Reply

    wow...

    Very good, nicley writtenm good luck!


  • PoJonez
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    A very deep piece

    Your silence is still pressing on my eardrums;
    the silence you failed to break until all my tears
    dried out in the sun.
    Then you crawl here, head bowed deep… in my hands,
    with eyes dripping regret into empty palms.
    It’s time I whisper back your silence… & shatter
    your eardrums by the words you failed to utter
    when my eyes begged them slowly from your tongue:


    “I promised to be there & that's where I shall always be”

    I was most touched by this passage, and the emotion it invoked within.

    Thank you for sharing with everyone.


  • midnightnursex
    February 8
    Edit | Reply

    sexy times.

    wow that blew my brain out my bum.


  • paullallady silver member
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    You have some very powerful images here and some wonderful wording. I really like in the first paragraph the use of the snakes tongue, which is forked and then the road divided in two. I also really like the way you describe running in opposite directions, trying to find north. this is a great way to describe being lost. I enjoyed this poem very much.


  • Ithica silver member
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    Just a powder-keg full of emotion! Excellent from beginning to end and comes packing a helluva punchline. Well done!


  • Pisces rainbow gold member
    February 8

    Edit | Reply

    you are always out doing yourself

    your poetry flow effortlessly

    full of incredibly expressed emotion

    brilliantly writen

    you are an exceptional writer

    God bless you my friend...

  • sleepinglion
    February 8

    Edit | Reply

    Very profound

    Love is so complicated, and this poem shows just how complicated it can be. And how obsesed we can become, depending on people who are so undependable. Hurt is never very far away. Very well done


  • Ken-Maverick
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    So this is the reason why you havent been on much lately. I know this feeling all to well Noor,
    but i'm sure there'll be better days to come.
    All the best to you, always

    Ken


  • lifeWillKillYou
    February 8

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    t’s time I whisper back your silence… & shatter
    your eardrums by the words you failed to utter
    when my eyes begged them slowly from your tongue:

    “I promised to be there & that's where I shall always be” I LIKED IT!!!! lol deep write man, thats heavy, great job


  • Anonymous Spark
    February 8
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my god i love this write
    hope u win


  • Gagiikwe
    February 8

    Edit | Reply

    Words as pheromones that whisper back

    I appreciated the use of the promt as an intriging title, which draws one in to the poem itself.
    Articulate and complex in language and imagery.
    "I hove around the crossroads spot ": a very interesting use of "hove", a nautical word, in relation to the picture. An image of deliberate action, of arrested motion.
    A poem that requires several reads
    Well done Noor

  • it flows well and I really liked the ending. Good write.


  • Little-Buster gold member
    February 7
    Edit | Reply
    Very good.
    great emotional piece.
    keep up the good work.

    -Buster


  • Kiddy
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    You have put across the emotions and sentiments vividly... Very touching... The last stanza is my favorite... It says that silence is louder than anything and it kills us like anything too... begging the tongue to utter something your beloved failed to do - is something very disturbing and touchy...Thanks for sharing...All the best in the contest...
    Love and warm regards
    Kiddy


  • Sudo Nimh silver member
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    i think my heart broke a little bit..i love the overlapping imagery in your first verse..the split tongue, split road, "blades of irony" which draw blood from the lying lips of the one who wronged..

  • HollyLouise
    February 7

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    wow, what can i say. everything about this is so perfect, it flows beautifully, and the words slice with diffience in to the reader, so you can't stop reading it. It is almost like it holds on to you, and you can't stop reading it. but that is good, that is really good. It is so so powerful, everything about it is strong.

    Keep writing,
    Holly.


  • campanaro silver member
    February 7

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    Really amazing write.
    Spoke in volumes..
    Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem.
    Love Peace,
    campanaro

  • "A simple lie"~ Says the broken me

    as i read this write, i was impressed by its beauty. then when you ended it so powerfully i decided i would definitely spend the points to applaud this wonderful piece of work from you. i certainly look forward to reading more from you in the near future.


  • Denerica
    February 7
    Edit | Reply

    Bravo

    Exquisite and powerful...the imagery is phenominal. Wonderfully written. Blessings.


  • mcope8050
    February 7
    Edit | Reply
    I love your writes,,, so much depth in them,,, thanks for sharing your talent,,,MY-KILL


  • Puppydog gold member
    February 7

    Edit | Reply

    BEAUTIFUL!!!

    There is much lying underneath these words though, so much feeling where they should not dwell. 's


  • nobumagawaX
    February 7
    Edit | Reply

    0_0

    NICE!!..this was awsome..love the ring to it..verry nice!!!...

  • Wowwwwwweeeeeeee!


  • Rhythm Child
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    loved the mix of prompts
    i was hooked from the starting line
    everything i love in a poem
    thanks for this great entry

1 - 28 of 28