Boots may be filled in many ways,
And in the dark Jurassic days
A caveman, who pursued a Raptor
Without a single hope of capture,
Took off his boots to cool them down.
The Raptor, with a puzzled frown
Took up his unexpected prize
And tried to try them on for size,
The caveman hurried on his way
And lived to hunt another day.
The Raptor, though, continued sitting
Trying to make his booted fitting,
Squeezed on the left, and then the right,
But could not make them match: that night
He went round to the caveman's dwelling
"Here, Ug," he said, "My feet are swelling!"
But Ug turned over in his bed
And pulled the covers o'er his head.
The Raptor left Ug's boots outside
(He'd stretched the perfect mammoth hide)
And in the morning, there they were
Beside young Uggy's fav'rite chair
He healed the sole, and soled the heel
Then tried to see how they might feel,
You know, they were a perfect fit
They didn't draw his feet a bit!
And soon his friends, from far around
Brought boots, and laid them on the ground
For Ug and Sons to make repairs:
And then they started buying shares
In this new business, which expanded
As Ug became a bit short- handed,
So many jobs! The business grew
And every word of this is true!
They advertised for lots of staff,
The Raptor, who quite liked a laugh,
He read the advert, and replied:
His application was denied..
A contest entry
- Lets see how IMAGINATIVE and CREATIVE you are CONTEST!!!!! by Little-Buster.
700 points, ended February 20, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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It's interesting what we people from across the pond have done to your English. I like the word draw used in that sense, and the unusual, for us, shortening of the word advertisement. I love it!
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I love the rhyme to this poem
Good luck
-Buster -
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Thanks for the points, Buster! I'm giving them to the virtual Raptor to help him in his constant search for suitable employment. Best Wishes. You've made my day.
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THis is so fun to read! I love the story. Good job!
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So very funny - but I forget - you must have three pairs (at least) of Uggs in your hall. xx Girls just have to have fun. And very many pairs of uggs. I have three xx Now you have three my lovely.
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I think this is funny but what does "draw his feet" mean? Pinch maybe?
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Just to add a few thoughts on "draw". There is a Middle English usage of the word draw which means "to cause to shrink, to distort". That would seem to get near to the root of this usage. My wife, who is from Manchester, says that cheap plastic or non-leather shoes "draw" the foot by causing it to sweat and thence to swell. My Shorter Oxford English Dictionary has almost a complete page of small print on the verb "to draw" - and that is without the various compound uses of the verb. Absolutely fascinating. Any ideas from anyone else?
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I can't quite recall where I first heard about shoes which "draw " your feet. I think it's a North of England dialect word. It may have something to do with drawing blood to the surface of the foot, like when your feet swell in tight shoes, and you need to take each shoe off and rub the foot to liven it up again. I will research this - but Googling "draw his feet" doesn't half bring up some interesting results! Pinch is perfectly close enough for me! Thanks for reading, laughing and commenting - and reminding me of my dialectic insufficiencies : )
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Not at all
I always enjoy dialect and I know a bit of the Lincolnshire dialect since my mom hails from there originally. Words like "draw" are fascinating.
It makes for an interesting piece when things like that creep in, more interesting than when the whole poem is written in standard Transatlantic English or the Queen's English or whatever.
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Excellent
A very fine write, indeed. You expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done.
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