thoughts swirling
feeding a flood
your name
written on every current
so much to do
but i stare off
into the weakening sunlight
hardly feeling the chill
your presence encircling
every one of my pores
like a warm buoy
all i can think of
is you
Author notes
for a little while, distance doesn't seem that far when you are thinking of someone
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Bandits Reading List
This shows how easy it is to relate our love to the ocean
Like the tide it comes in and out..
Effective words
Shari
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Outstanding
This is a poem full of longing that speaks of love. It is difficult when we are seperated from the people we love and missing them never gets any easier. I thought there were some strong metaphors in this poem and the last line gave it the perfect ending.
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Great use of metaphors to enhance the imagery of how those thoughts encircle and hold a mind to ransom. Well done...alby
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The emotion in this piece just exudes from every word
Great work -
Bandit Reading List
I know how this feels. Too much distance doesn't make the heart grow fonder. I get your meaning but I have had too experience with distance ruining the relationship. -
Bandits Reading List ~
Deeply interesting ~
I love these lines:
"your name
written on every current"
Beautifully done!
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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i like the impression this leaves, it takes you in and you can really feel all the range of emotions. Strong and inspiring images too that help create the mood/tone of the piece. i really enjoyed this Thanks for sharing
~n
va
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