the scene unravels
the moon fell into her eyes
they reflected star like qualities
her body mimicked an eclipse
a light goes off somewhere above
and the movies flicker off and on
and begins with her alone again
---
a cigarette hangs between his lips
his breath comes out foggy and caramel scented
his skin is moist and alabaster
her fingers slice through his vertebra
no blood but she's touching thin air
nicotine lips now pressed against her neck
for just a mere five seconds
leaving no mark of existence
end of scene
Author notes
my first time trying not to write prose
1st part-she is the sky
2nd part-he is an apparition
A contest entry
- Any Poem Welcome by jayyniecakes..
1158 points, ended February 16, 188 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Great write
I love the richness of your description used in this poem. It certainly woke up my imagination and gave a real feeling of a confident writer who knows how to play the reader's mind. Great job and good luck in the contest.
-
I already commented on this today... so all i can say is finalist. :]
-
Very descriptive and interesting choice of words.
Nela -
some interesting description in here, one thing that is a little confusing is the phrase, "her fingers slice through his vertebra, no blood but she's touching thin air" i am not sure what you want to communicate through that image. not my style of poetry, but it has some good description and a unique ending, good write!
-
blood vessels rupture leaving a bruise
i feel like this line doesnt fit... its too harsh while the rest of the poem is mellow.
other than that it is amazing. :] -
good stuff
intense i liked it.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
