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Departing

In oddly seen hues
emotion runs off the cuff,
light is seen, in shade.

"As if she knew it!"
Scoffed the Cardinal, "the nerve"
"I sold it to Jays!"

"What, to jays?" she asked.
"The house, I sold the damn house!"
"Oh no you did not!"

Again he saw this,
fighting, arguments, her flight,
in his memory.

She left there, alone
on the roof he was sitting,
As she flew away.

Author notes

I looked at the picture from a different vantage point.
Why was the Cardinal just sitting there...

In a list

A contest entry

Let me know How this makes you feel, what do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • suseann
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    In reading,one can visualize this conversation unravel.
    Very well versed haiku chain of a tale you have here.


  • Amera gold member
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    I love it when you take your pen and step out of the box. This is such a joy to read. My favorite part is in the beginning ant that grabbed my attention. The line is: "emotion runs off the cuff".

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Lowell Poe
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    these objects of appreciation can never convey the respect
    I have for your work.
    but they are all i have.....

  • Lowell Poe
    February 7
    Edit | Reply
    Observation......
    you convey it so well...
    a fleeting thought....
    a minute in time.....
    you shine in this realm...
    the end is ......incredible..
    the things that come and the things that go...
    the bird meshed with thoughts of relations...
    i read very deeply into this......
    the correlation.....
    then in another read i imagined the Jays as another bird ..
    as in blue jays.....could be me....
    but my first take was ....she...a woman.....was leaving ..
    flying away.....as you sat on the roof.....because you made a decision without her.....
    What ever realm you actually had in mind...this is art...
    interpretation is secondary.....
    it's the picture of things that abandon us...
    Strikingly beautiful.
    No doubt....
    poetry lives in your soul....
    what ever you do to make money....first and foremost..
    you are a poet.

    So many blessings to you my brother,
    Lowell


  • Arkbear gold member
    February 6

    Edit | Reply

    Please forgive me Bro....but you got me ROTFL!

    I can not say these are proper KU's.....the speech and the Dialect and the FV & Prose' Tone are all wrong -

    However......you have sure  created a little ditty which should be in SS Format and definately use the Pic -

    I am sure this is not what you wanted to hear.....but it's all good.....just not a Proper KU' Chain is all.....thanks Bro.....God bless,

    Bear ~


  • Mistress Leala silver member
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    Very intriguing and interesting point. Well done!

1 - 6 of 6