A Loss as I Return.

I didn’t feel like writing, I felt the NEED.
I didn’t feel like running, I had a need for speed.
I didn’t feel like sleeping, I needed to dream.
I didn’t feel like waking, I had a need to see the world.
Detachment overrode by instinct, making me want and admire and appreciate,
And every moment I hate it.

I’m coming back to myself, slowly but surely, my body demanding what I refuse:
Human understanding, so clouded, full of emotion. Useless.

The human rises, and the mind fades.
Dullness and detail covered with resplendent colors,
Only the surface of things remain.
So USLESS these things, beautiful though they may be.
I cant refuse such need forever, but I want my dull, calculating mind.

Let the human fade. The only way to preserve what I have worked so hard to obtain.
But it doesn’t want to go, and though weak in thought, its resolve is like no other creature.

Can I do it? I’m not asking you, and I don’t want sentiment. I just want it done.
And I don’t think I can.

This is my cry of despair, for losing all I have, and have yet to gain.
Back to happiness, sadness, love and life.

How disappointing…