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Sorrows of the Damned

Words that came from a lamented song
Christens anew the deeds of the wrong
Sinners and saints together in this place
Worthy to bear this treacherous grace

Pain and suffering gather here
To taste the salt of bitter tears
The frailty of life now shown
Casts a glance to wither alone

With each new conviction
Comes a new addiction
It helps add to the pain
To suffer what’s gained

Hidden in a world so unclean
A corner of mine unredeemed
Trapped behind this wall of suicide
And every tear never cried

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • swim.x
    October 2, 2009

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    your rhyme is fantastic. you don't use cliche rhyme like most people on this site. this poem is short and sweet and left a good impression.

    favourite lines:
    Hidden in a world so unclean
    A corner of mine un redeemed
    - what you might want to do it write 'unredeemed' or 'un-redeemed'

    an amazing poem.

    chin up,
    swim.x


  • Uniquely Blossoming
    May 30, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    speachless...

    This is beautiful I adore it. The power and emotion is beautiful, the wording is deep and so amasing

    Hidden in a world so unclean
    A corner of mine un redeemed
    Trapped behind this wall of suicide
    And every tear never cried


  • pendulum gold member
    April 20, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    why the fucking hell did i never comment this?





    prolly cause i saw it shortly after you wrote it lol.


  • The Phoenix Returns
    March 22, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Too preachy for my tastes... And the rhymes appeared forced which a distraction all the way.


  • Justified Inc.
    March 2, 2009

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    So Sad!

    This poem strikes a chord in me somehow. I am not sure I can grasp the meaning of the first stanza. It seems a little hidden to me. I think the rest is so sad. The final lines leave such a sense of loss and condemnation. I feel a deep loss and sorrow that lingers after reading it!
    Lots of depth and emotion!

    "Pain and suffering gather here
    To taste the salt of bitter tears
    The frailty of life now shown
    Casts a glance to wither alone"

    The above lines are my favorite. They speak to me of a place of individuality and personal pain. Very effective and brought out the painful reality of suffering in this life and world.

    Ouch, this grabs the heart!
    Annette


    • Comatose--X silver member
      March 2, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      "Words that came from a lamented song
      Christens anew the deeds of the wrong'

      These lines are the corrolation between people who condem others for things such as stealing

      "Sinners and saints together in this place
      Worthy to bear this treacherous grace"

      This is the sum of all humanity and saying that no one is more innocent than the other

      Ty for the compliments. your comments are always so comlimentary and make me feel better about my writing


  • gypsywitch0187
    February 25, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    oops

    sorry accidently hit enter! I really like where you have taken this and it is very nicely rhymed, I like the flow and how it just tell's a story without being mega long!
    ♪tawns♪

  • gypsywitch0187
    February 25, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    ♥ =

    really like where you have


  • Serenity-words
    February 23, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Another great one!!

  • Hiddenmight
    February 15, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    The cycle of guilt

    But we must realize things are only wrong because people say they are

    Great flow and nice rhymin

1 - 13 of 13