1-If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? Doing what? With whom? Why aren't you there right now?
I would be affectionately playing with my own child. I'm not doing that now because I have no child of my own. 
2-If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them?
I have told friends and family that I love them. I'm an open person. I don't think I'd have any regrets.
3-Where do you see yourself five years from now? Ten years?
I would hope I would be married and have a child within five years, but I do not see that happening. I've wanted that since I was 3 and I'll soon be 43. In 10 years, I'll own my home. My mortgage will be paid. I will be saving money like crazy hoping to retire soon.
4-Whom do you admire most? Why?
Spiritually, it would be Jesus of course. He is perfect. He loves perfectly and unconditionally. He is strong and faithful. Humanly, it would be my dad. He has become more gentle and loving over the years. He is strong and wise.
As I look back over the years,
And remember the joy and tears,
There is one steady, stable factor I see:
A man to lead and guide me,
A man who was always there,
A man who had real love and care,
A man who made us a close family,
A man who taught values and integrity,
A man who sacrificed his time,
A man who was firm, yet gentle and kind,
A man who saw us through good and bad,
A man whom I'm proud to call my dad.
5-If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would you pick?
I would love to be able to sing well. I love worship, but I do not sing well at all. It seems a contradiction to love music so much and not be able to produce it with my voice or with an instrument.
6-What is your most treasured memory?
Climbing Longs Peak in Colorado with my dad. It was a challenge we faced together. It was an amazing experience to share as father and son. It was just he and I. We rose early in the morning to be above tree line when the sun rose. My dad wanted to see the alpine glow on the mountains. It was a beautiful sight. On the trail we saw a large bull moose. A few times I was scared but overcame my fears with my dad's help. We reached the top of the mountain and I feel asleep.
Long's Peak
Four AM; Not even the sun has risen
A dutiful son, I follow his command
In the darkness I stumble into the truck
Half asleep and half awake I sat quietly still
We arrive at the beginning barely alive
I fall out of the truck and place one foot forward
One step at a time I follow my dad's lead
Into the trees along the produced path
With no light piercing through the trees
A fear nearly pierces my heart in the dark
Yet I found comfort that my father is ahead
I trust he will protect me from what cannot be seen
We break through the trees as the sun breaks into day
We stop and marvel at the display of colors
Reflecting upon the mountains of rock
Pink becomes rosy then red ending in a brilliant purple
Now I know why we rose before the sun
To see this wonder of creation's artist
Painted on the mountain rocks
Even as a child, I marvel at its beauty
We leave the alpine glow to new sights
Clear streams dance upon rocky beds
Paint brush flowers coat the ground
Hurried chipmunks scurry and hide
A vast space opens before us
The dirt trail seems to end
Where giant boulders begin
We pause to ponder our chosen course
Our destination lay far ahead
Where God placed a key hole
To the other side of the mountain
For father and son to pass through
New fears of rocks to scale
And narrow ledges to cross
Lay ahead for this weary child
So I place my trust in the strength of my father
We nearly reach the end of our climb
To face a wall that must be scaled
Should we climb or should we quit
Together we decide, we've come this far...
Onward and upward we ascend
Refusing to end our adventure
Together we strive to reach the top
In the strength and courage of the other
On the peak, I find time to rest
Dad finds his breath and hope
The whole earth lay before our sights
We stand on top closer, stronger and renewed
7-What super power would you choose?
I want to be able to get somewhere instantly like in star trek, but I often dream of flying when I am asleep.
8-If you could choose the manner of your death, what would it be?
Die of a heart attack while making love to my wife.
9-Would you give up your most treasured possession to guarantee happiness for the person you care deepest about? What is the possession and who is the person?
Martial possessions are not important to me. I'd give up anything for a friend. A friend of mine committed suicide. Before he did, I got him into a day counseling program. The program cost $10,000 and he was fearful that his insurance would not cover it. I would have taken out a loan on my house to cover the cost. I told him I'd give the ten grand if need. I was serious. I can't think of anything I treasure so much that I would not part with it. I love my movies, my music, my fireplace and more, but I'd give them up in an instant. I could not give up people so easily. I treasure my nieces and nephews. Loosing them would devastate me.
Fight for Life
It was a good fight!
Friends rallied and cheered
Him on!
Victory seemed sure.
Sure there were set backs.
At times he seemed defeated
But
We had hope!
Each blow that knocked him down
We hung onto to hope!
Hope he would rise!
Hope he would heal!
Hope he would win!
We knew he would!
We believed so strongly!
Then
Then
No
He gave up.
He quit.
He ended the fight.
We were startled.
We were shocked.
We were numb with pain.
No!
This could not be!
Not this?!
Not after all the cheers?
Not after all the hopes?
Not after all the help?
But it was over.
Done.
No, he would not rise.
He would not.
He could not.
He did not.
It seemed like we failed.
We tried so hard.
We did.
But
We failed.
Or
Did we?
Does not hope remain?
O Death, where is your sting?
O Hades, where is your victory?
Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory
Through our Lord Jesus Christ!
Therefore, my beloved brethren,
We remain steadfast, immovable,
Always abounding
In the work of the Lord,
Knowing that our labor
Is not in vain
In the Lord! ~ 1 Cor 15:55,57-58
10-For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
I am most grateful for the children that pass through my arms. I love my nieces and nephews I volunteer in a program to help kids through divorce or marital difficulty. I am grateful for every child in that program and am grateful for everyday I get to participate and make a difference for the children.
11-What about other people irritates you the most? Why?
My pet peeve is smoking. I can't stand cigarette smoke. But I guess I really can't stand selfish, petty bickering. People at work seem to have their own little world under their control. They won't share and won't help others outside that world. I want to put them in a sandbox and say, “Play nice, children.”
12-If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? What?
I love spending time with children. I have enough money that I could quit my job and survive a year, so I would quit and spend time with kids. I would spend lots of time with my nieces and nephews. I have friends who have kids so I would spend time with them. I am especially fond of 8 children in one family, so I would spend much time with them.
13-Would you like to be famous? In what way?
No, not really. I would like to be published and people to read my poetry and other creative writing not because I want to be famous but because I'm passionate about the subjects.
14-Is there something you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
Yes, getting married and having children.
15-What do you most strive for in your life: accomplishment, security, love, power, excitement, knowledge, something else?
I strive to make a difference in the lives of friends, family and especially children.
16-How close is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happy?
My family is very close. We would spend a month or more camping in the mountains together when I was a child. I think that drew us close. My childhood was very happy. I had my moments of despair and sadness mostly during puberty but I had a good childhood.
17-Do you find it more or less appealing to do something you have never done before?
I enjoy it when I take a risk and do something new. I'm not much of risk taker though. I live very routinely. The biggest risk I took lately was to travel to Odessa Ukraine. I blew lots of money and had wonderful time, but wounded my heart.
18-How old do you want to be when you die? Why?
I'd be happy to die tomorrow. “For me to live is Christ, but to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21)
19-If you could take a one month vacation anywhere in the world and money were not a consideration, where would you go and what would you do?
I have always dreamed of going to Australia. When the Olympics were in Sydney, I gathered enough information to make the trip. I decided to buy my house at that time, so that put a damper on my plans.
20-Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by five years to become extremely attractive?
I could reduce my life expectancy easily. I don't care to live a long time. It is not important to me to be extremely attractive. I want to be married so if by being attractive, I could win the heart of a woman, I would gladly change my appearance. However, I would not want to marry someone who only loved my appearance. I'd want her to know and love my heart.
21-What do you think is your best physical feature? Your best inner quality?
I jog often so my legs are muscular even at 43. I have tremendous compassion.
22-Are you self-confident? Do you consider yourself vain or arrogant?
I am not vain or arrogant. I have confidence in my intelligence and problem solving ability. I am confident when sharing truth about what I believe the Bible to say. I lack confidence with woman. This may be one reason I am not married.
23-What is your most embarrassing moment from your past?
In first grade, I had to go to the bathroom. I raised my hand but the teacher did not call on me. I could not hold in any longer so I messed my pants. When she finally did call on me, I told her it was too late. She called my mom to come and get me. My mom did not come. She sent a neighbor to pick me up.
24-How many different sexual partners have you had in your life? Would you prefer to have had more or fewer?
Zero. I would gladly have ONE.
25-Have you ever considered suicide? What is so important to you that without it life would not be worth living?
Yes, I have. I have had moments of deep sadness or depression. I would never actually take my life though. I believe if my body dies, my spirit will live on, so it's kind of a moot point. Nothing is so important that life is not worth living. Life has a purpose. We live to honor God and draw others to him. We live to make a difference in the lives of others and to develop our character. As long as my life is fulfilling my purpose, I want to live. I will die at my appointed time not any sooner.
26-If your friends and acquaintances were willing to bluntly and honestly tell you what they really thought of you, would you want them to?
Yes. It would defeat the lie that “if you really knew me, you wouldn't love me.” My friends do love and some are bold enough to tell me when I've done wrong and how I should change. I welcome criticism, but I admit that first I would feel sad and probably resist it. I am my own worst critic. I would really be surprise if someone could criticize me with something that I have not already criticized myself.
27-Do people know the "true" you? If not, why?
Yes. I am very open. My mom says I where my heart on my sleeve. That is true. I'm a lousy poker player. You can read me by looking at me. Some people know my darkest sins.
28-Who is the most important person in your life? What could you do to make that relationship better? Will you ever do it?
Jesus is the most important person in my life. I'm trying to improve that relationship. I spend time alone with him. I read his word. I want to get love for him and from him from my head to my heart. I also love every member of my family. I would love to be able to relate to some of them on a deep spiritual level.
29-If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
No.
30-Do you believe in any sort of God or god or goddess?
I am a Christian and I believe that Jesus is the savior. There is only one God who is three distinct persons. I think we create God in our image. We would do well to see God for who in really is and not our false images of him.
31-Would you like to know the precise date and time of your death?
Sure. I think would take more risks and plan for that day better. I would know how to spend or not spend my money. I could be more certain that I leave enough behind.
32-Do you have a favorite sexual fantasy? Would you want it fulfilled for real? What is it?
I would settle for being married and enjoying sexual intimacy. That is my biggest fantasy that I desire to come true. I once gave a gift to a married couple to enjoy an intimate dinner on a boat cruise. I would love to enjoy that. I would love to dance with my partner that night. I would love to end the night with passionate intimacy. My other fantasy is in a poem called “Intimacy on a Beach.”
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4125963
33-When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
I cried on my recent trip to the Ukraine when I told someone how much compassion I had for two women (two friends) who no longer have any parents. I cried by myself last year in my car after my mentor and friend betrayed my heart and started to date a woman I loved dearly.
34-What do you value most in a relationship?
I value openness and honesty. Don't play games. Don't make me guess what you think and feel. Tell me.
35-Do you judge others by a higher or lower standard than you use to judge yourself?
I judge myself by a very high standard. I am my own worst critic. I'm much more lenient, understanding and forgiving of others.
36-If for the next two years you would be stranded along with enough provisions to last you and one other person, whom would you pick?
I would spend it with Inessa, the woman I met in Odessa. She rejected any possible romance with me. Maybe if she would spend the next two years alone with me she'd see my heart and change her heart toward me.
37-If you had the choice of one true soulmate but no friends or no soulmate and many friends and acquaintances, which would you pick?
I have many friends and no soulmate now, so I sure I would choose a soulmate. I'd hate to give up friends though.
38-You became involved romantically with a person but after six months you realize you need to end the relationship. If you were certain that the other person would commit suicide if you were to leave but were also certain that you could not be happy wit that person what would you do?
I would choose not to be happy. I would rather be unhappy than for anyone to take their own life. Honestly I think it is possible to make any relationship work if both are willing to try.
39-Do you consider yourself attractive? Sexy?
I have not been able to win the heart of a woman, so I guest I must not be that attractive or sexy. There are a few woman who have told me that I am attractive, but only a few.
40-What things do you consider to personal to discuss with others?
If it is a close friend, nothing is too personal.
41-How many times during the day do you look at yourself in the mirror? What do you think of how you appear?
Once in the morning. Anytime I go to the bathroom. And again at night. I think I'm not so bad looking, so why do woman not find me attractive?
42-What is your greatest fear?
My dad dying. Any of my nieces or nephews dying. Any of my family members dying would hurt terrible. I think family members dying would hurt worse than my friend's suicide. I would be most devastated if any of the kids died. Loosing my dad would be especially hard because I seek his wisdom still. I can be honest with him. He holds our family together and my mom is dependent on him. I think if he died, I would have to care for my mom.
Facing Cancer
"I'm facing my biggest fear,"
He said to me.
I was already hurting.
These words I did not need to hear.
"How does it feel to see me this way?"
He asked of me.
Hurt for him is what I felt.
"Sad" was all I could say.
The man with whom I could run 10 miles
And scale mountain peaks
Now, struggled to walk a few feet.
Memories of such days, now, did not bring smiles.
Seeing my dad weak and in pain,
Hurts me too much.
But though this is hard to bear,
I know our faith will not wane.
Through this fight for his life,
I'll be by his side,
And praying to my Lord:
"Comfort us. Save my father's life."
What outcome lies ahead for us?
It's beyond my control.
I simply do not know.
So in our Lord and Savior we place our trust.
Almost
Oh precious child not even two,
How it hurt to almost loose you.
Seeing you lying on that bed,
Alive but appearing nearly dead,
Was more than we could endure,
We feared we might loose you for sure.
By your side constantly we stayed.
As we held your little hand and prayed.
"Oh Lord of heaven and earth,
From the day of this child's birth,
To us, such happiness did his life convey!
Please, don't take our little one away!"
We are so thankful you are still around.
Happiness in our lives once again abounds.
We rejoice that you are still here
And that we can again hold you near.
We are thankful that you could stay
And that the Lord didn't take you away
43-How many of your current friendships have lasted more than five years?
Ten years? Which of your current friends do you think will still be important to you in ten years?
I have a friend that I have known since kindergarten. My current friends from church, I have known for more than five years maybe even 10 years. All my friends will be important to me in 10 years.
44-Who do you have a crush on?
Amera is cute, young, talented and very intelligent. I still am very fond of Inessa.
45-How old were you when you first had sexual intercourse? Do you wish you had started earlier or waited longer?
I never have had sexual intercourse. Yes, I wish I could have enjoyed it earlier than now. I'll be 43 soon!
46-For $1,000,000 would you be willing to never see or communicate with your best friend ever again?
No. I lost my best friend to suicide. Nothing is worth that pain.
47-What do you like best about your life? Least?
I love my involvement with children and how I love and help them.
I don't like going to bed alone.
48-When you are given a compliment do you usually acknowledge it or suggest that you do not really deserve it?
I don't accept compliments well.
49-Do you feel you have much impact on the lives of people you come in contact with? Can you think of anyone who, over a short period of time, significantly influenced your life?
I do impact people. I love very easily. I know I have made positive differences in the lives of many especially children. Many people have influenced me but it is usually over a long period of time. When I went to D.C. for a Promise Keepers event, a speaker told us that if we met God face to face, we would not give him a high five or a hug. We would fall on a face in fear in reverence. He then had us lie prostrate on the ground. That moment deeply affected my understanding of God.
50-When you are with your friends, do your interactions include much touching (hugging, kissing, holding hands, play fighting, back rubs, etc)? Would you want to have more of this?
I am very affectionate. I hug, hold hands and give back rubs often. I do not kiss.
51-Of all the people close to you, whose death would you find most disturbing?
As I said before, the death of my dad or any of my nieces and nephews would be hardest to take.
52-What is your biggest disappointment in life? Your biggest failure?
I am disappointed that I never married. I have failed to attract a woman to me. I have sold some of my poetry but I never published my poems or stories. That is a big disappointment and failure. I tried really hard to prevent my friend from committing suicide. When he killed himself not only did I feel as if I had failed but it was more than disappointing. It was painful.
53-In conversations, do you tend to listen more or talk more?
I listen more unless I'm discussing the Bible, then I talk more.
54-Relative to the population at large, how do you rate your physical attractiveness? Your intelligence? Your personality?
Since I have not attracted a woman to me, I think my physical attractiveness must be poor. I am very intelligent. I was salutatorian of my high-school graduating class.
55-If you could script the basic plot for the dream you will have tonight, what would it be?
I would be superman and Lois Lane would be the most attractive woman I know. She would be deeply in love with me. We'd have a romantic evening. Then she'd fly around the world with me in my arms. Lastly we would make passionate love.
56-If you could go back and change one thing in your past, what would it be? How would your life differ now after the alteration?
I firmly believe that all that has happened to me has been under God's will for my life to develop my character. No mistakes were made. Sure there are pains I would rather have not gone through, but I believe that it was all for my good. This I know “all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
57-If a crystal ball would tell you the truth about any one thing you wished to know about yourself, life, the future, the past or anything else what would you want to know? Why?
I would want to know why I've not been able to attract a woman and what I need to do to change that.
58-If you were guaranteed honest responses to three questions, who would you ask the questions and what would they be?
i) I would want to ask any woman I dated, what turned them off and away?
ii) I would ask anyone who knows me well willing to answer, what is one thing they would like to see change in or about me?
iii)I would want to ask anyone who would want to abuse a child, What would stop you?
59- Have you ever been attracted to a member of the same sex? How did you deal with it?
Never
60-How would you like to be remembered after you die?
As a man who made a positive difference in the lives of others. As a man who loved children. As a man who had the love of Jesus in his heart and poured it out to others.
61-Do you care about what others think of you? Friends? Family? Your boss? Strangers?
I care too much what others think of me. I too often play to a false audience and try to please others. I'm very non confrontational. I don't want certain people to know my sins. Some of my friends know my sins but my family does not. I would more ashamed if my family know my sins than my friends. I think my family has a rather high view of me and see me as morally pure. My boss I just want to appreciate all I do and accomplish. Strangers, I don't care so much.
62-Do you like your body? What, if anything would you change about it?
No, I'm too thin. I would love to gain some muscular weight.
63-Are you able to separate sex from love?
Yes. I love and have never had sex.
64-What is your favorite part of your day?
Night. I'm a night owl and I love to sleep.
65-If you could meet any person, whom would you pick? To be friends with? To marry?
I want to meet Audrey Hepburn but she is dead. It would be a fantasy to marry her (when she was my age. Now she is dead). If I met a beautiful woman who is beautiful on the inside and outside, I'd want to marry her. All I ask is she be devoted to Jesus, out going and love me. Not too much to ask is it?
66-What is your "theme song" for your life and why?
“He's a Good Lad” by Bread.
He's a good lad
A little bit shy so you'll try and have to understand
Such a good lad
And just for a while the guy'll need a helping hand
His word are hard to follow, but his heart has found a way
To show you the things that he never could say;
He's a good lad
A little bit wild but his style is really gentle and kind
He ain't so bad
Right to the end he's a friend, about the best you can find
And as you come to know him, and his needs are comin' through
You'll flash on the day I was talkin' to you.
And he needs somebody to love
Yes he needs somebody to be worthy of -
He's a good lad
And if you come to want him, like I know he wants you to
You'll see all the things I was sayin' are true
And he needs somebody to love
Yes he needs somebody to be worthy of -
He's a good lad”
written by David Gates
67-Would you want to be extremely rich? Why or why not?
I would pay any family member's debt. I would lobby against abortion and child abuse. I would set up a place where where woman wanting to get an abortion could come for alternative help like adoption, monetary assistance, counseling or what ever was needed. I would set up a place for abused children to come for healing. I would have doctors, counselors and care givers there.
68-Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?
No. Love takes time to know a person's heart and discern God's will.
69-What is your biggest vice?
Impurity
70-Is there someone in your life who you wish you were closer to? Why aren't you?
Sure. There are woman whom I find attractive, but for one reason or another they do not want to be closer.
71-Do you hold grudges for a long period of time?
No.
72-Are you prejudiced to some degree about race, sexuality, religion or anything else?
No
73-When in your life were you most content with yourself?
I am exactly where God wants me to be and am the person whom God wants me to be. He's begun a good work in me and he will complete it. As long as I remember that, I am content.
74-If you knew you could devote yourself to any one single occupation- music, writing, acting, business, politics, medicine, etc.- and be among the best and most successful in the world at it, what would you choose and why?
I would devote myself to children, children who are hurting.
75-You and a person you love deeply are placed in separate rooms with a button next to each of you. You know that you will both be killed unless one of you presses your button before 60 minutes pass; furthermore, the first person to press the button will save the other person but will be killed immediately. What do you think you would do?
Push the button without hesitation.
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