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The Window To My Soul: v2

I knew you once.

I knew your body,
your smile, your walk, your voice, your laugh,
I knew your cry.

But no longer.

And now I walk through the shadowy world of my memories
lost in the depression of my "real" life
choosing to look through the shadows in my mind
to find something hidden within.

I've lost you, that I know.

I will never hold you in my arms again, not on this earth.
I will never see your smile in front of me unless I hold a picture.
I will never hear the tread of footsteps as you turn my way.
I will never hear the voice that my ears yearn to hear.
I will never hear your tinkling laughter, except in my dreams.
I will never comfort you while you cry, for now it is my turn to weep.

I will never forget you.

I walk through a dark forest, wondering where I am
and realizing that I no longer care.
I linger in this place for it has your essence in it
so the darkness is permeated with light.
The trees whisper your name, which tears at my heart.
I torture myself so because somehow, I can feel you within my soul.
In the rustling branches there is a window
where light shines from the place beyond.
I can see your face in this better land.
You no longer suffer, only I am hurt.
You look at me with desperation, crying out to see my pain.
I could hide and let you rest in peace, but I am too selfish.
A glance of you is too good a bait.
You will never fade from my memories
and we will meet someday in that land that I see
through the window to my soul.

Author notes

A second version of "The Window to My Soul" based on comments on my versions. It seems that the general consensus was to keep all of it but edit the beginning list! If you still have a comment, it will be greatly appreciated!

A contest entry

These are 3 versions of my poem "Window to My Soul." Please tell me which version you like best!

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • broken-colours
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    "I will never hear the tread of footsteps as you turn my way.
    I will never hear the voice that my ears yearn to hear.
    I will never hear your tinkling laughter, except in my dreams."

    that part really got to me. it is true that after our loved ones die, there is nothing left, not even a voice. we'll have pictures to look back on, but no presence to feel beside us.
    very sad & contemplative poem.

    <3


  • YesterdaysDreams
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    I will never hold you in my arms again, not on this earth.
    I will never see your smile in front of me unless I hold a picture.
    I will never hear the tread of footsteps as you turn my way.
    I will never hear the voice that my ears yearn to hear.
    I will never hear your tinkling laughter, except in my dreams.
    I will never comfort you while you cry, for now it is my turn to weep.

    I will never forget you.


    very poignant and well written. Thank you for entering, good job and good luck in the contest.


  • Nicada silver member
    February 11

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a sad, but also a beautifully written poem. The emotions are so strong, and the imagery used is amazing. Keep on writing! Thanks so much for entering. Blessings, Patty


  • Rain777
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    such a beautiful love poem - but a sad one as the one you love is not there beside you any longer...

    love all the lines - especially : You no longer suffer, only I am hurt.
    You look at me with desperation, crying out to see my pain.
    I could hide and let you rest in peace, but I am too selfish.,,

    Yes often that we are too selfish in many things

    thanks for sharing beautiful poem