asphalt melted
from the suns beaten rays
burned blisters in her feet
daddy said he'd be right back
four hours ago
where he went
she ponders
faith and trust is strong in little ones
Father is the word for hero
on the hearts of all children
sad that sometimes they are wrong
sitting, waiting, all alone
emptiness, she will become
a mere shell
Author notes
WROTE ON FEBRUARY 6th 2009
Picture Credit:
Prompt: the above picture http://fotouczniak.deviantart.com/art/Red-hair-110817137
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture Prompt #13 by Kuranya.
700 points, ended February 12, 2009, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best February Prewrites from These Dates: by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended March 2, 2009, 75 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What is one thing that stood out in this poem?
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Hoodwinked
This is very sad. You are right. Father is the word for hero to these little ones. How shameful to harm that trust.
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Hoodwinked!
This is a sad poem reflecting shattered expectations and the loss of a sustaining illusion. Heros are all too often short lived and the resulting aftermath leaves permanet scars. Fitting write for this picture prompt!
You have been Hoodwinked today by the Poetic Bandits because WE CARE!
Dennis
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Too sad
Oh this is a sad poem, for it reflects a little too much of reality. It brings to mind the story that made world headlines, of a father who left his young daughter stranded at the airport, while her mother lay dead in the boot of a car. Anyway I'm sure you've heard the story, yeah how can people do that to any child. Very emotional feelings are evoked by your poem, and you've writen it so well and the sadness here makes me angry that such torment can so easily be put on a young child. Take care and good luck in the contest.
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that is just not cool!!! I almost cried in the last poem that I read and now you really did make me cry!! so mean.. but how true it is.. such faithful hearts and a loyal spirit, how many parents use that and destroy it... just makes ya want to find them and.... a truly wonderful and emotional write.. best of luck in the contest.
Angel
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OMG, this is so touching and sad. Makes me wonder what's happened to this little girl and all the little girls like her. Thanks for entering my contest. Good luck. It’s an honor to have you show your work here!
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thank you so much for allowing me to enter into your great contest, I have two kids, a Daughter 3 and a Son 2, I completely understand the waiting process when she's waiting for me to come out side and play...They're amazing. I hope that you did enjoy this piece, thank you again for your awesome contest!
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Beautiful words to describe the hope of a child waiting on a parent that might not even show, emotional and heartfelt. Blessings.
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Excellent
Wow, great choice of words. Such a marvelous write. Best of luck in the contest.
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I have been this little girls waiting for her daddy. This is beautifully done.Best to you in the contest
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So sad..........
............ but very well-written. I remember when I adopted my daughter. Her biological parents gave her nothing but grief for all the mistakes she made. Well, their loss is my gain. Good one, fellow poet.
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aww this is so sad, but beautifully written.
"Father is the word for hero
on the hearts of all children"
That is such a true statement, this whole piece is just awesome. great write, good luck in the contest!
Blessings,
~Michaela~
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Wow!
This is really something.. This reminds me of the days as a child when my father would go out to sea... I never understood for I was the youngest of 3..But as always we grow up and learn the ways of what is truly going on... Although this poem although short tells a huge story sounding of abandonment. This is truly sad and heart breaking yet very well written from a AP top poet in my book!
"It's sad that sometimes they are wrong
sitting, waiting, all alone
emptiness, she will become
a mere shell"
I am not a over emotional person but this is my fave. part. It actually brought tears to my eyes. The reality of a child... Well done my friend! xoxo Miranda
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aw this is so deep and
I can relate to your words from my childhood a very wonderful take on the pormt good luckin the contestmaralisa
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Beautifully written. Such a sad story, but it happens often in this world, unfortunately. I can feel the passion in this. I feel so sad for the abandoned child. Amazing job my friend, best of luck to you
♥ Katie
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omg... this is seriously sad.. i felt like crying when i read this.. really deep emotion. the way you used the colloquial terms like 'daddy' instead of her father, it really adds to that innocence of the child and is really well done. your a fantastic poet.. this amazing poem really shows that. excellent take on this prompt!
-Lemon Bee-
xx -
Sadness prevails in this piece... a lil one waiting for the father that shall never return. The imagery is really good in this piece, Aaron... Lovely job!
Huggsss
becca
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Very deep and sad!
It's a terrible feeling to be stood up,
especially when you are so young.
Children depend on and trust their
parent's words with all of their hearts.
Sometime it's all that they have to hold
onto in this world. Wonderful work here
and good luck to you!
Jeremy0826
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