Helpless

Hospitals smell like sickness covered in disinfectant
and expensive smiles
There's an old man sitting straight down the hall

I watch as he folds his hat
Eyes searching the ground
glancing at nurses and doctors as they walk by
Hope hidden within the wrinkles on his face

His glasses are thick
I could burn a small dog with them on a hot summer day
His hands are clumsy
shakey and old
His eyes are afraid
rheumy and dark with fear
His breaths are deep
pierced with grief
He has liver spots around his neck
And he wears penny loafers the color of mud

The old man rises from the hard plastic chair
folded hat in his trembling hands
Doctor nodding with that fake smile the old man can't see
What a terrible liar
A moment later it's my turn
fifteen minutes
a physical
Done

Footfalls echoing to the elevator
Mind overcome with dinner and a movie
Maybe some flowers
Sometimes feet stop of their own accord
Sometimes eyes look where the brain says they shouldn't

The old man knelt next to a bed in prayer
Old woman sleeping as if dead
A heartbeat measured with numbers and a line
It quickened for a moment and died

I have never seen an old man cry
He begged for help as a nurse rushed into the room
He touched the heart monitor
But he was useless

He grabbed her arm and kissed her hand
He whispered in her ear, his tears trickling down her cheek
He said please and no over and over with each sobbing breath

He held her close
Running clumsy fingers through her hair
He said, "I love you"
and I believed him.