Don't Try

i love you more than life itself and that's why it hurts so much
and it's love that is the only reason why
you live the way you do
why you breathe precious air
why you speak sacred words
...why you feel emotions that sometimes wonder free

there is no way to take back what you have done
all the times i have cried
all the years i have lost
it cannot be replaced and i no longer trust anyone
i spite you because of it
wanting to hate you until the end of the world

i have never asked you why
you did the things you did
because i always fooled myself into thinking
that that's not the question i should be asking
when it really is...

there we no iron bars waiting for you
but i know for a while there were storm clouds that followed for so long
i could see it in your eyes
i can still see it in your eyes
those lying, childish, deceitful eyes
and i damned them for all i could
but not only for me
and it makes me sick
to know that it was all you

is it wrong to hate but somehow still love someone so much?
is there a way to channel both?
a smart person would already know that answer
a person in denial would break down completely
and a child would not understand

you take out the worst in me
without even trying that hard