The carousel it had become,
repetitive spin after spin.
patterned with fake-happy pictures,
of what would never come to be.
Almost over she hoped,
this wretched ride would be.
So she could go home and rest.
But If everything was this carousel,
where would that resting home be?
Spattered on golden mirrors,
the drab among the rich,
she was reflected over and over
as it spun and spun again.
So she wanted to jump,
to float far and far away.
Hands slipping from silver bars,
whirring away to the still land of nowhere.
__________________________
So the pawn became the queen
the queen who lay in death.
Cycle after cycle,
They are in place,
in flight,
in hiding,
in death.
Growing sick of time after time,
being struck down again,
the bishop's mind,
sick with dread,
flew off the board,
and lay dead on the floor.
__________________________
Stepping prudent,
over pruned roses,
brown from decay.
Winter lilies,
split by sun.
Her rich black lashes,
cast shadows on her cheeks,
over half moon purple dashes
of sleep-lacking nights
watering the garden.
The flowers grow from tiny to tall,
then in a day it seems,
they are brown again.
Their colors are outrageous,
and some grow in small groups
but that one delicate dragon,
strained away from the rest.
It spent its days growing,
beautifully strung out across the gate,
so that the passerby would glance
and gaze
and smile
at that one purple bloom.
A contest entry
- Anything and Everything! [Prewrites Allowed] by Captain Amber SL.
700 points, ended April 26, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How versatile a poet are you? by Danna Hobart.
460 points, ended February 20, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
W
Comments
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I like this, a lot. It's dark, with a light hearted twist at the end in reference to the purple flower. I also liked the amount of description within this piece.
I have to say, the second part was my favorite. The analogy of chess really highlighted the sense of horror, struggling and betrayal. Also, the way you've split life up and described it in three different ways is astounding.
One criticism I have, though, is the use of the words "golden mirrors". This kind of threw me off a little bit, I'd have used either "silver mirrors" to emphasize the reflection of a mirror, or "gold edged mirrors". This is a rather picky detail, though, and purely personal opinion.
I wish you the best of luck, and keep writing and improving your poetry. ^__^
Aeris Silverlight
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I really got a sense of movement from the first poem.
I thought it was clever how you made the pawn the queen in the second poem. I also like the part about the bishop losing his mind. It's well crafted.
I think my favorite is the understatement of the third poem.
Thank you for entering.
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