everyday that I wake up, there are new dogs in my house. they don't eat or sleep, they just walk around and they take up all my space and all my space is bound
by the loss of you.
the entire place is blue and all the colors in its spectrum are just the tiny hues of your face, becoming giant tunnels just below the fragile surface and glowing like big moons beneath your cheeks.
the dogs all sit around me and wait.
you're one month late at getting home from work.
maybe you're dead.
Author notes
I don't feel and it feels
...terrible
i don't really like this poem either
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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i like this..a lot
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!
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Those last two lines are stellar.
There is no reason to not like this. Personally, I think it's brilliant.
♣ Tegan
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thanks
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i think this poem is rather gorgeous.
reminds me of too many things. -
i like it.
it speaks for itself.
wonderful image and listless feeling.
'you're one month late at getting home from work.
maybe you're dead.'
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thank you dear
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you're very welcome. :]
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I do love rereading your stuff.
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I like it. A lot.
Very easy to feel. Good comparisons throughout.
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thanks
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No problem
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this is fireworks and dynamite. i love it. holy macaroni. you are either a genius, or a genius.
you're one month late at getting home from work.
maybe you're dead.
superb ending.
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becoming giant tunnels just below the fragile surface and glowing like big moons beneath your cheeks.
gah! i wish i could be this original. i know i write well.. but not this well. i love the word moon the image is perfect as well.
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thanks
ps you're a brilliant writer
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I was a month and a half late.
"there are new dogs in my house"
That is the most original I've read in a while. Understated and powerful. Agreed, your use of "tiny" is very effective. Dynamic write.
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thanks
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hmm
this is one of those things you read, and then it leaves you feeling totally detatched. like you're invisible and everything passes you by.
you don't feel so you just sit and wait for something amazing to happen that allows you to soak up some kind of emotion.
a realisation or something.
sorry for rambling all over your comment space
i love this.
beautiful description and imagery.
just wow.
ElectricBloom
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thanks a lot
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I feel like you can read my thoughts sometimes and then orchestrate this incredible piece of art out of words.
"you're one month late at getting home from work.
maybe you're dead."
I love how mysterious your poetry is. It always leaves me with an open ending, allowing infinite possibilities to occur in my mind.
This was great. Truly great.
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thank you
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your work is wonderful
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you're wonderful
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thank you
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I LOVE YOUR AN.
"it's spectrum"==>its spectrum
"tiny hues of your face"
I really like the way you used 'tiny'...it actually felt largely significant to me.
"the dogs all sit around me and wait."
"maybe you're dead."
I love your writing...and the part akma pointed out - goldeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
;
Jessica
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"becoming giant tunnels just below the fragile surface and glowing like big moons beneath your cheeks."
goddamn.
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