My responses

1-If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? Doing what? With whom? Why aren't you there right now?
I would be with Amanda in New York, just having fun. I’m not there now because of the sheer difficulty it would be money, time, and permission wise for us to do that.

2-If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them?
I would regret not telling Grant and Wade that I love them. I should probably do that now.

3-Where do you see yourself five years from now? Ten years?
Five years- working in some low paying psych job
Ten- with a master’s, working a higher paid job

4-Whom do you admire most? Why?
I admire Heather L Wilson because she is my age and yet so strong in her faith and her knowledge of self. She is kind to everyone and truly a good person.

5-If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would you pick?
Teleporting

6-What is your most treasured memory?
When I went to NY with Tommy, Kimi, Kristina, and Daniel

7-What super power would you choose?
Teleporting

8-If you could choose the manner of your death, what would it be? Peacefully in my sleep, or else while saving the lives of others, or as a martyr for Jesus

9-Would you give up your most treasured possession to guarantee happiness for the person you care deepest about? What is the possession and who is the person?
I would give up my computer for my mom but I wouldn’t be happy.

10-For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
My salvation

11-What about other people irritates you the most? Why?
Prejudice of all kinds- it’s so ignorant and wrong

12-If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? What?
I would be a much better person and I would be much more open with people

13-Would you like to be famous? In what way?
No, it would SUCK to be famous
14-Is there something you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
Publishing a story- it’s impractical. I’ve tried a few times but I have no agent or money and I still don’t’ know how to sell myself

15-What do you most strive for in your life: accomplishment, security, love, power, excitement, knowledge, something else?
Understanding and truth

16-How close is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happy?
My family is close and yet not in an odd way. My childhood was pretty happy.

17-Do you find it more or less appealing to do something you have never done before?
Depends on what it is…generally more. I like new things

18-How old do you want to be when you die? Why? Old. Because I want a full life

19-If you could take a one month vacation anywhere in the world and money were not a consideration, where would you go and what would you do? I would go to Ireland and just look all around

20-Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by five years to become extremely attractive? Yes sadly

21-What do you think is your best physical feature? Your best inner quality? My best physical feature is my lips. My best inner quality is my openness.

22-Are you self-confident? Do you consider yourself vain or arrogant? I am sort of self confident, not overly so. I do consider myself to be vain but not arrogant.

23-What is your most embarrassing moment from your past?
Singing “Give it to me baby” and then farting twice. I was eight, give me a break.

24-How many different sexual partners have you had in your life? Would you prefer to have had more or fewer?
I’m a virgin. For now I’m cool with that.

25-Have you ever considered suicide? What is so important to you that without it life would not be worth living?
I have considered suicide several times. I’m not sure that anything is so important to me that without it life isn’t worth living now though.

26-If your friends and acquaintances were willing to bluntly and honestly tell you what they really thought of you, would you want them to?
Oh hell no. I’d be paranoid the rest of my life.

27-Do people know the "true" you? If not, why?
Some people do…very few though. I’m honest about myself but I don’t let them see ALL of me.

28-Who is the most important person in your life? What could you do to make that relationship better? Will you ever do it?
My mother is the most important person in my life because she helped raise me to be who I am now. I could make our relationship better by telling her I appreciate her more. I will probably do it. Eventually.
29-If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
I would have my parents not make me feel so much like I was held to higher expectations than my brothers.

30-Do you believe in any sort of God or god or goddess?
I believe in God.

31-Would you like to know the precise date and time of your death?
Hmmm yeah actually. Would give me time to prepare.

32-Do you have a favorite sexual fantasy? Would you want it fulfilled for real? What is it?
Yeah I do…I would like it fulfilled. And none of your business what it is.

33-When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
In front of someone- wow long time… I’ve cried talking on the phone, does that count? In front of in front of someone would probably be over two years ago.
By self- two months ago.

34-What do you value most in a relationship?
Honesty and trust.

35-Do you judge others by a higher or lower standard than you use to judge yourself?
Lower. Way lower.

36-If for the next two years you would be stranded along with enough provisions to last you and one other person, whom would you pick?
Amanda

37-If you had the choice of one true soulmate but no friends or no soulmate and many friends and acquaintances, which would you pick?
One soulmate. That would be all you needed anyway.

38-You became involved romantically with a person but after six months you realize you need to end the relationship. If you were certain that the other person would commit suicide if you were to leave but were also certain that you could not be happy wit that person what would you do?
I would break up with them and make sure to alert everyone and get them police help and custody.

39-Do you consider yourself attractive? Sexy?
Attractive- occasionally. Sexy- very rarely, but yes occasionally

40-What things do you consider to personal to discuss with others?
Really explicit details of your sex life and bodily functions.

41-How many times during the day do you look at yourself in the mirror? What do you think of how you appear?
I look in the mirror maybe ten or twelve times, and I usually am unhappy.

42-What is your greatest fear?
That I will go to hell.

43-How many of your current friendships have lasted more than five years? Ten years? Which of your current friends do you think will still be important to you in ten years?
No current friendships have lasted that long

44-Who do you have a crush on?
Amanda. Eliza Dushku

45-How old were you when you first had sexual intercourse? Do you wish you had started earlier or waited longer?
I’m still a virgin.

46-For $1,000,000 would you be willing to never see or communicate with your best friend ever again?
No. Money doesn’t mean that much to me.

47-What do you like best about your life? Least?
Least- monotony. Most- that it is purposeful

48-When you are given a compliment do you usually acknowledge it or suggest that you do not really deserve it?
Depends on my mood

49-Do you feel you have much impact on the lives of people you come in contact with? Can you think of anyone who, over a short period of time, significantly influenced your life?
I do feel I have an impact on some people’s lives, definitely, that I have helped or touched them.  And I can think of like ten who have impacted mine…

50-When you are with your friends, do your interactions include much touching (hugging, kissing, holding hands, play fighting, back rubs, etc)? Would you want to have more of this?
Not usually no…only if we’re in a very playful mood. And yeah I’d like more of this.

51-Of all the people close to you, whose death would you find most disturbing?
My mother’s or Amanda’s or Kami’s or Christine’s...separate reason for each

52-What is your biggest disappointment in life? Your biggest failure?
Disappointment- that there aren’t answers to everything
Biggest failure- to be perfect

53-In conversations, do you tend to listen more or talk more?
Depends on mood and people

54-Relative to the population at large, how do you rate your physical attractiveness? Your intelligence? Your personality?
Attractiveness- 6 or 7
Intelligence- 8 or so (I know my IQ)
Personality- 7 or so

55-If you could script the basic plot for the dream you will have tonight, what would it be?
*smirks to myself and keeps this to myself*

56-If you could go back and change one thing in your past, what would it be? How would your life differ now after the alteration?
I would change how I reacted to everyone in middle school. I’d probably have better friends and be more confident in high school and therefore now.

57-If a crystal ball would tell you the truth about any one thing you wished to know about yourself, life, the future, the past or anything else what would you want to know? Why?
I would want to know when I’ll die, so I can be prepared.

58-If you were guaranteed honest responses to three questions, who would you ask the questions and what would they be?
1. Am I going to Heaven?
2. Is there a God?
3. Am I doing what I should in life?

59-Have you ever been attracted to a member of the same sex? How did you deal with it?
Yes. I’m still dealing lol

60-How would you like to be remembered after you die?
As someone who impacted other’s lives and was talented

61-Do you care about what others think of you? Friends? Family? Your boss? Strangers?
Others in general- sort of
Friends- yes
Family- yes
Boss- yes
Strangers- no

62-Do you like your body? What, if anything would you change about it?
I mainly like my body. I would thin out my thighs and butt though and change my eyebrows, hair, and breakouts.

63-Are you able to separate sex from love?
Don’t know yet.

64-What is your favorite part of your day?
Morning, around 9 am

65-If you could meet any person, whom would you pick? To be friends with? To marry?
Amanda. Eliza Dushku. Not sure.

66-What is your "theme song" for your life and why?
Hm…good question. “Bitch” lol
67-Would you want to be extremely rich? Why or why not?
No. I’d feel fake and guilty and get rid of it all

68-Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?
Yes, because of fate.

69-What is your biggest vice?
Roleplaying

70-Is there someone in your life who you wish you were closer to? Why aren't you?
Hm…my brothers. Because they make it hard for me to be.

71-Do you hold grudges for a long period of time?
No

72-Are you prejudiced to some degree about race, sexuality, religion or anything else?
Everyone is I think if they’re honest with themselves.
73-When in your life were you most content with yourself?
As a very young child

74-If you knew you could devote yourself to any one single occupation- music, writing, acting, business, politics, medicine, etc.- and be among the best and most successful in the world at it, what would you choose and why?
Writing. Because I LOVE it

75-You and a person you love deeply are placed in seperate rooms with a button next to each of you. You know that you will both be killed unless one of you presses your button before 60 minutes pass; furthermore, the first person to press the button will save the other person but will be killed immediatly. What do you think you would do?
I would press the button myself, of course.