Over dark seas and through cold nights
with tear-sodden eyes but you in my sights
I wonder if you feel me, here alone in my mind
A never ending journey, no destination confirmed
A cruise to sweet moments and your endless delights
Author notes
My perfect cruise.
A contest entry
- Cruise Contest Rounds by Riftkin.
700 points, ended February 15, 2009, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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awwww i love this one. that should be in a big love card you can buy at clintons! you ever thought of selling some of these to companys looking for card inserts?
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lol...wouldn't know where to start, but I have a much better job than doing that sort of thing, but thanks for the encouragement...
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ohhh if you dont mind me asking, what do you do? i also love my job endlessly, but i have this feeling yours might be better than mine haha
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Yeah I am in strategic projects.. I facilitate change management and speak on leadership and personal branding. I work for a large coperation here in SA and spend most of my life in hotels and in strat sessions or on stage talking to groups between 10 and 400 people.
What do you do?
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very good my friend.. you can write well .
this piece should of made it to gold.. but into a
book you could be writing would be better..
Your friend in Poetry... JackReed3
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Wow~
You speak volumes my Brother and what a piece penned
Woot! Beautiful images and emotions that tug hard~ Bravo!! Excellent take on the prompt
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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This sounds like a wonderful trip.
I think I would like to go on one like this.
A cruise to ones soul mate or love, would be a cruise worth taking.
Riftkin
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I smile at the choice of color and light where you unfold your poetic tracing, it reminds me of this moment now where heart is warm...a longing in my cold fingers tips that reach to trace the soft skin of the soul. ...I just can't find the exact or perfect words to say what I have for your poem any better, all I know is I have seen and felt the moment you have written before ...
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excellent
very powerful. tactfully compressed. it flows so naturally that the strong emotions in it gets expressed well.
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Mm', I'd love the experience a cruise like that. Something perfectly peaceful and full of magic. Your words speak of tenderness within and I can appreciate that. A beautiful night sky with waves lapping? That definitely sounds like my scene.
Beautiful write.
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great!
that's amazing.
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I like this very much. My favorite line is, "with tears sodden eyes but you in my sights." Do you think it would be better as, tear-sodden? Either way, the line just got to me. Love, Lane
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Hi L..
Thanks for the heads up and you are right.
Looks and feels better now, I shouldn't hurry so much..lol
As always ... Unsigned
Simon -
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anytime i would expect the same from you.....lane
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ok L ...will do
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wonderfully dark and beautiful.
every line sums up the emotions so perfectly.
you did it again brother.
keep that great stuff coming.
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