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you are irrecoverable...

Missing image
Oh my love

your splendor was more than the grand cosmos
more than the voluminous lifetime,

making me to overlook everything
during our square dance

we, neglecting our God,
ignoring the perceive of our comprehension,
disregarding the moon in the sky,
wrapped the love for one another

Now, when those days are parted
when you are irrecoverable
moon of the sky is eclipsed as well

I, make a paper moon at my desk
and reminisce you with the rainy eyes of mine

Oh my love...

A contest entry

od

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • sleepinglion
    February 20, 2009

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    Very Beautiful

    I don't think that God would feel neglected during such love. God is Love and would be right there with you(as I'm sure you are aware). Could such a love be irrecoverable, or would it just keep re-emerging, life after life, until you became Love.
    This is a beautiful poem and the animated picture is stunning


  • ea silver member
    February 7, 2009

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    This evokes that grand love that may come once in a lifetime and eclipse even the moon and stars' brilliance. Yet, you show regret for having forgotten about God during the height of your loving, though surely he exists in such a union. I also really like the sad quality of making your own paper moon after the relationship ended, perhaps out of poetry.


  • celticwarrior
    February 6, 2009

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    The best part of your poem, for me, is the second to last stanza where the speaker makes a paper moon, for the real light lost. Consider replacing the word "reminisce" with "recall" or "remember". Your word , in this context, seems a bit awkward.


  • michellemybelle gold member
    February 5, 2009
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    oh my, this is lovely! I am actually at a loss for words...simply, splendid!


  • rhondasail
    February 5, 2009

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    Very sentimental write. The splendor of light has gone out and left only the memories of the love that lifted your eyes and heart above the everyday . Wonderfully composed. I particularly love the imagery given by "rainy eyes"...Best wishes in the contest. Peace, Rhonda


  • BonnieQ silver member
    February 5, 2009

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    Gorgeous!

    Ah, dear Prab, this truly is beautiful, reveals love found and lost and the memories left behind: a paper moon, indeed. This simply must win the GOLD in this contest. You always seem to write volumes in so few words, while painting a wonderful vista.

    Much luv & hugs, BonQ

1 - 6 of 6