Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

I Am Stranger To The Left Side Of My Brain

He walks like bone
with coffee stale breath
that I try to inhale
hoping to find answers

I struggle to decipher
these problems

 it is some unknown language

he speaks in puzzles
a poet would never understand
but I try

anxious fingers squeeze
the skin on my neck
releases and balls-up with

sweat again


I am four years old
learning to shape letters
in my name

and cry in frustration
when they don't match
yours










Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Author notes

Um...I am really bad at algebra and this is my first experience with a tutor...and no he wasn't hot or a nerd ...he looked like my grandfather

just wanted to write something different than Love, Pain, or Sadness...Instead I wrote about my struggles in math

My AP and real name : Catie Sheeran

A contest entry

Im still revising this piece. Constructive criticism is welcome

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Terry Collett
    February 26
    Edit | Reply

    Memories are the food of poetry.

    Bukowski & I like this poem alot.


  • thepoetssoul
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    Im tryng to picture you inhaling this old mans breath looking for the answers.Sorry it's just a funny imagethis is an exellent penning indeed, thanks for sharing your left brain problem, and poetic muse.
    Be blessed in all you ever do.

    Tony


  • PerfectImperfection
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    Algebra eh? Never was my cup of tea either - may as well have been gibberish to me. Well spun poetic direction for thought. Great ending to show the mindset. Thank you for your entry!


  • Katastrophic
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, your poem was excellent! Your lexicon and flow of words was really nice.

    hahaha I'm not great with algebra either! Your inspiration was totally great!

    Great title!

    Thanks for entering!


  • luna-midnight gold member
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    hehe, this is sooooo cool. its orginal, not every yar you come across a poem like this. it made me smile when i read of the shaping letters, and frustrations, gooo girrr!

    keep writing, and take care

    Stephanie ♥


  • Free - Spirit
    February 5
    Edit | Reply
    Like it because it seems like it has a deeper meaning.


  • Jasmine Rayne
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely adore this.

    "I am four years old
    learning to shape letters
    in my name

    and cry in frustration
    when they don't match
    yours "

    That's amazing. I don't know if this is what you're trying for, but it reminds me of the mass confusion that seems to go on between the male and female mind. lol Your words are beautiful and perfectly describe the amount of confusion you've tried-- and succeeded-- to create. Great job on this! Good luck in the contest!









    -Jaz♥

    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      February 5
      Edit | Reply
      take it any way you want...I do...lol. I think that is what makes poetry so great!

      but, um...I wrote this poem about how much i suck at math!...lol but I like your take better!



      thanks for the comment and taking time out to read my poems

  • tara wilson gold member
    February 5
    Edit | Reply
    this is good work, Catie, i love the title, very catching


  • usefuldistraction
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    "He walks like bone with coffee stained breath"...where did that come from, it is an incredible opening...I think this is written so well, a fresh take on the anxious undertow of relationships, love the close too, wonderful metaphor for the feeling of not quit getting it completely and struggling with the mastery of neuances...you should write more when you are tired! Love this!

    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      February 5
      Edit | Reply
      I am back from school and have to go to work in 2 hours!! *sigh* I am still tired but I wrote something that happened at school today that just annoyed me. might seem a bit caddy tho...lol. but I will put it up soon...hopefully it's good. then I think it is time for a nap...since I stayed up real late writing this stupid piece

      thanks

  • Arjun Karath
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    with coffee stained breath
    that I try to inhale
    hoping to find answers

    very deep lines....full of questions unanswered...cool wrk!!!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is so good. If i could write like this i would never go to sleep.
    Love the first stanza.
    Joe

    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      February 5
      Edit | Reply
      Ha Ha! I wish I didn't have to sleep! sometimes there's just not enough time in the day to have for myself *yawn* and I am still tired! stupid school and stupid job! where's my pillow?!

      thanks for the comment and taking time out to read some of my 'stuff' ...lol


  • Cannonsfire
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    inhale? lol late night spell error...love the beginning of this..middle is stunning..is there a reason for so much space between that and the last? makes it seem a poem on it's own or a dreamlike nostalgic flashback, maybe in italics? inverted comma's maybe otherwise it kind of hangs there...

    Strong pen and getting louder hun C


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    February 4
    Edit | Reply
    Great piece. Well penned
    On line 3 however, I'm assuming you meant "inhale"


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    February 4

    Edit | Reply
    I have to agree with Ylova! You did very well with this write and I am glad that I got to read it tonight. All the best to you in this contest my friend!




    Jeremy0826


  • chilali
    February 4

    Edit | Reply
    I'll tell you how good this is. It is very good, excellent. I love the metaphors and your word choice. Stunning work. Good luck in the contest.

    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      February 4
      Edit | Reply
      aww...thanks.. it's just that a lot of times I think I have awesome ideas late at night...then the next morning i am embarressed by what I wrote...because I think it's awful

      thanks for the comment ...I truely appreciate it

1 - 23 of 23