Waves crashed on shore,
ripples wrecking havoc
among the colony of voices
as they clattered in daily gossip,
gushing sounds like fingers racing
over type-sets in a mad deadline
to get out the all-important news
Some shells scurried off
assembling in small groups,
the clichéd in-crowd
that separated themselves,
their chattering non-stop,
whispered conversations,
the tittle-tattle of dead things
revealing secrets in bone voices
Others were left on the sidelines
in little eddies or dry spots,
bruised, broken or crushed
unable to withstand the flows of power
watching
waiting for the next surge of strength
to change the status quo,
when some would be tossed and flung
into the deep beyond,
where they would stay hidden and quiet
perhaps…..forever….
Author notes
just thinking of the waves washing over sea-shells.....strange, I know....lol
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 44 of 44
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Totally fantastic!
I went straight to this poem once I saw the title, aboomer. I love the sea and seashore, poems, stories or art, lol. This poem is brilliant. I love your descriptive writing and choice of words, such as 'tittle-tattle' (of dead things). Very searching, very moving, very nurturing ... going straight in my fav box, lol. Look forward to reading your other entries, mate. (wink)
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thank you so much LordBoomyson for reading and for your wonderful comment. I am honored and pleased that you enjoyed this.
I love the ocean - always thought that someday I could live/retire by the sea. I don't think that will happen now, but I paint the sea landscapes, have lighthouse decorations and pics all over the house and, unfortunately, collect tons of seashells when we do get to the ocean....lol....hubby bemoans all the sand that somehow comes with them and sticks in the crevices in the car....lol
thanks again
best wishes
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Very powerful write!
How did I miss this one? oh yeah...I know...I haven't figured out a good system to keep up with your writes yet! lol...
I love the ending...to be hidden away forever...wonderful thought...
wish I was a seashell right now!
Best wishes always...
and always, always, write on!
and
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Thank you so much islekine - glad you enjoyed this one.
I love to listen to the shells wash up on shore - sometimes it does seem like they are 'chattering'....
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not strange, life I wish I could help. life hurts.
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thank you so much 'Rheea' - glad you enjoyed this.
blessings
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It reads very beautiful.
Thank you for sharing with us.
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Thank you for reading/commenting 'markgrif' - glad you enjoyed this.
best wishes
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well strange maybe but good dam good definetely.
You are a blossom of talent!!!!!
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Thank you so much 'Swan song' for such a lovely comment. I am pleased you enjoyed this somewhat 'strange' write....
best wishes
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Very inventive.I really liked this one.I will remebr it when I stand on the sea shore, listening to "The chatter of dead things" APPLAUSE!!!!!!
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Thank you 'Gwenevere' - glad you enjoyed this.
During storms, the chatter can be very noisy!.....lol.....I wish, though, I was standing on the sea shore!
best wishes
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brilliant :)
Love it!!!!!!!!
Fantastic symbolism and creativity.
What gave you the idea?
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Thank you so much 'holly4' for reading and your lovely comment. I am pleased you enjoyed this.
was thinking of the beach - I need a sunny, WARM vacation!...lol....and I had a large glass jar of shells next to my chair and my cat knocked into it, making the shells rattle or 'chatter'....lol....anyways, I get stray, strange thoughts a lot!
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I've heard them before but I never realized they had so much to say. Gossip even!
Nice write. -
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Thank you so much 'Judith Chandler' - glad you enjoyed this.
yeah - they are awful gossips!....lolol
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Others were left on the sidelines...
Simply brilliant. Great wording and a great picture. You know how to slap the imagery into your pieces and that is excellent! Keep it up! -
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Thank you 'Heroesrox' - glad you enjoyed this. Just some of my many stray thoughts....lol
best wishes
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Nice work... JackReed3....
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Thank you so much 'jackreed3' for reading - I am pleased you enjoyed this.
blessings
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"Waves crashed on shore,
ripples wrecking havoc" though some say both would be correct, "wreaking" just sounds and looks better for the reader.
"gushing sounds like fingers racing
over type-sets in a mad deadline
to get out the all-important news"
OMG i am a lover of imagery! to me, it makes poetry, well, poetry!
that stanza is cool, but i do feel you may have went just a tad bit overboard with the adjective "gushing"
to use an adjective, then link it to an image using the word "like" just makes it a bit to over done i think. It still gives great images though!
just a thought.
overall i totally got it! the images are awesome and you really "show" instead of "telling" and thats what poetry is all about. U have made a fan out of me my friend. much love
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Thank you 'afroqban' for reading and your lovely comment - and for the suggestions....I appreciate them.
'wreaking' - not sure I've seen that spelling before....does that 'sound out' like 'reeking'?
Gushing - to me watching the waves wash over the shells, I got an image of 'gushing'.....but maybe another word would work better. ...maybe even just using 'rushing'?....will have to play with this a bit....
again, thanks. I'm really pleased you enjoyed this.
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dont get me wrong man, even if you dont change a word this piece is still great! but you know how it is, sometimes the people outside looking in can see things the people already inside can't see? u feel me? much love
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Thanks 'afroqban' - I do appreciate you taking the time to give me some suggestions.
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What an excellent portrayal of your thoughts. Your interpretation of the sea washing over shells really is beautiful! I agree if this were in a contest it would be golden hunni. A superbly penned piece and very neat read
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Thank you LadyD for such a lovely comment - I am pleased you enjoyed this.
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Maybe just thinking of waves washing over sea shells but it also personifies the chaotic state of this world and of mankind: rather makes one wish they could be tossed to the deep, well hidden from the ruckus and where it is quiet.
Beautifully rendered, flows like the sea, and I enjoyed every word. If this were in a contest, I would award it the GOLD.
Much luv & hugs, BonQ
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Thank you so much 'BonnieQ' for such a 'golden' comment - I do appreciate you saying that....
I was thinking of mankind when I wrote this....lol.....the thoughts just went a little strange on it...lol
blessings
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love the way you have personified the sea shells, if they only had voices huh
any write about the ocean is tops in my books, and this is no exception... loved it
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Thank you so much Rob - glad you enjoyed.
Good thing they don't have voices - getting stepped on, thrown around, and 'moved' all the time....lololol
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Oops
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I am glad that you posted this I was waiting for it to come up I love what you added thanks for sharing much love always
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Thanks Starz!
glad you enjoy my 'thoughts'....lol
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Wow~
Oh Heck Girly~ this is an Excellent piece based on waves crashing~ Oy!! Strange as You say~ bring more
Love the lines:
Others were left on the sidelines
in little eddies or dry spots,
bruised, broken or crushed
unable to withstand the flows of power
watching
Had me balling like a baby~
You know while I was reading this I also kept seeing like seals-sea lions that have to battle with top predators- some live while others unfortunately but when You mention withstand flows of power~ just came to me-...
Powerful metaphors You have weaved here~
I did not want it to end
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Voice~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
Best wishes too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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Thank you so much 'Desire' for your wonderful comment - glad you enjoyed this.
I think I was relating the shells to life/people - how they get knocked around by the 'powers' that be....maybe???....lol....I have no idea!!
...lolol
anyways....
thanks
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Gosh now I want to hike it to the beach and save the shells
I used to collect them and was so saddened at the cracked ones- broken pieces~ and then people stepping on them - did not help any
but children just beamed over the sight of seeing a shell
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lol - let's go!
I swear I bring home a million shells every time we go - I always get a lot of broken ones - they go so nice on wreaths and I add little flowers or other shells to cover the broken spots.....I have shells scattered in all my flower beds! -
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I hear ya Honey let's shake it fast
-grabs Glad bag and shovel also hat-
Wooooooo Hoooooooo
Look out everybody we are on a mission
You are so darn Creative~ I used to use them for decorating pots for Gifts and spray paint color on them~ so Beautiful~
-wipes nose-
reevvvvvvvvvvs up the engine~ shotgun
Wait I'm driving
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lol
I hung them on a small xmas tree once - it was really pretty....I make it my 'shell' tree....I still have some shells on branches stuck in my flower pots...lol
(I've painted them - also done them unusual colors with nail polish!
you're driving?????... - is that safe?....lol
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Aaaaaaaaw Danggggggg it is like You can pimp my home anytime with Your Creativity
and Jan is that safe You ask
wait-
puts on glasses- removes the trifocal lens to clean-
Heck yessssssssssss I can see from here to the my nose
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I LOVE THIS!!! Which came first...the pic or the poem? Were you inspired by the shells or were the shells an embellishment to this incredible write? I could spend hours at the beach just watching the waves come in and looking for shells and fascinating sea debris. {not like shyringes and crap...lol...but starfish and sand-dollars.} I love the ocean and I never get to go there. I think I could relax and heal if I took another trip there like my mom and I did after my Gran passed. I think of that so often and this verse took me to that wonderful time once again Sis...thank you.
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Thanks sis! Glad you really liked these strange thoughts....lol....I am thinking of a beach vacation - can you tell????
which came lst - the chicken or the egg?....oh....lol....
well, the write - then went and found a pic for it.....the shells embellished the voices...lol
I love, LOVE, to gather shells when we go to the beach - even the broken ones (for crafts) - I think maybe I thought if I had enough to bring home, I could buy some sand and create my own beach..........sand dollars we usually don't find.....
let's go to the beach!!!
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I found one sand dollar...it was so cool! I found one half of a star-fish...and tons of shells. I brought them all home and Rick made wind chimes from the shells. I still have them all. They make the most lovely sound.
Let's do go to the beach, I will bring the mixer if you bring the tequila and lime! I spent a week on the beach in South Carolina. Charleston it was. I swear I think I could live there and never run out of things to do for fun.
The people were so nice and the food was awesome! I wanted to go on the midnight haunted tour...but I never got the chance. This old fashion buggy takes you on a tour through the oldest part of the city and through the graveyard....oooooo...lol.
I miss doing things just for fun. I really would love it if I could go to the beach with you Sis. I bet we would have a time.
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never found a sand dollar - but did find some strange black square things - I've forgotten what they are called - but they are WIERD!!
Yes, they make lovely wind=chimes. Also I love them hanging on the xmas tree or on branches I put in my flower pots......and of course, you saw my shell walkway on my lighthouse island....lol
LET'S GO!!!!!
The place we go has lights outside at night that thousands of gulls 'dance' in - it is one of the most unusual sights (been written about)......neat....
We'd have a GREAT time!!!......LET'S GO.....
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