And the goblins say hoody doody dah,
when witches come out to play at night,
and fairies indulge in sin with delight.
I am the one, and the only.
My blood is shared amongst those who are lonely.
'Prepare to live' I whisper right by your ear.
You start to shake, consumed by your fear.
The goblins will surround and taunt you,
while the demons of your past scream and haunt you.
'This is all a bitter sweet tribute for the ones we love' I scream into the sky above.
I order my minions to cuff you to a wall,
you look so inviting...
bleeding and all.
My elves of darkness scratch at your skin,
amongst the cheers-
your screams mix in.
And with your last breath-
you grab my hand,
as I smile and say- 'Welcome to Neverland'
Author notes
Option 10 - Redcap
- Night Terrors group list • next in list
A contest entry
- I, Monster by Night Terrors.
650 points, ended May 16, 2009, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Rocked it
Well done with
excellent flow
from start to finish
tis lovely
Thanks for the share
Darky
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Catacomb this is so divine and yet so twisted indeed.
"And with your last breath-
you grab my hand,
as I smile and say- 'Welcome to Neverland'"
Oh my never shall I look upon an elve with a hint of a smile in the same way as before.
I like it, I like it so!
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congratulations on a wel deserved golden cup
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Oh wow!! I love redcaps
They are so very evil. You made this into one great poem. I am adding this to the fianlist list it really really stood out to me.
The Positives:
A great poem about the hardest prompt I put up there. I know not many people know what redcaps are, and you really captured thier dark evil nature I am blown away by this.
Room For Improvement:
Nothing I can see you did wonderful
My Favorite Part:
My elves of darkness scratch at your skin,
amongst the cheers-
your screams mix in.
And with your last breath-
you grab my hand,
as I smile and say- 'Welcome to Neverland'
Very powerful ending great job
Overall:
Imagery: 25/25
Style: 20/25
Structure: 24/25
Sound: 25/25
I give this a 94/100 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~
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this is very good not what i thought it would be but good none the less well done
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