As I look up into the midnight blue
And gaze upon the bright and flick'ring stars
I know that there, at least, is light - and true
Despite the maybe cruelly hanging Mars.
When feeding well upon the peerless glow
Of even half of Moon's illustrious face
The rush of awe takes over and I know
To put my problems in their proper place.
For by the studded sky my worries shrink.
How petty and how pointless they become.
They lose priority with each star's wink.
I'm star-struck, unaware I'm growing numb
Because their beauty masks the winter chill
And here at night, at least, the world is still.
Author notes
A contest entry
- Sonnet Contest for Sonneteers Only by Amera.
10000 points, ended March 1, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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well done, mademoiselle !
congratulations on the well-deserved brown cup ...
maa
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The sentiment of this is wonderful, and one with which many readers may identify. Beyond the message of the poem, the imagery transports the reader to a cold, clear night where in the mind's eye he may join the poet in becoming lost in the midnight sky.
I believe my favorite line is the 12th. Totally enthralled in the beauty before her the poet forgets the discomfort she might feel if focused on herself. And isn't that the point!?
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a very beautiful sonnet, both in form and content, the imagery is absolutely stunning and creates a strong emotional response in me - and certainly many other readers ... one of the highlights in this contest ...
maa
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Besides the wonderful first line there were many other high points for me. Line 5: "When feeding well upon the peerless glow" How wonderful to see the word feeding used in that sense! I love the contrast in language between the first part of the sonnet and that wonderfully plain line "To put my problems in their proper place. And then again in the next line you use magical heavenly language to describe the sky "studded" a very unusual word, and in the next line back into plain English "How petty and how pointless they become." What a masterful sonnet! I have no suggestions for improvement.
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As one of the contest judges I feel obligated to give a critical critique on each entree in this contest. You can take my opinion for what it’s worth. This poem starts strong and continues strong throughout the entire thing with beautiful imagery and captivating thought. The poem is penned in decasyllable and prefect meter. I really like that as it makes it a pure joy to read. The only correction I would make is the word “flick'ring”, I believe it’s one of those words that needs to be contracted by making it two words, i.e. “flick’ ring or flick ‘ring” . This is one of the best sonnets I have had the pleasure to enjoy in a while. Thanks for helping to make my contest a success.
Love,
Amera♥
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nice
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So wonderful to read
a poem that practically unfolds effortlessly to the reader. Gracefull and a thrill to read.
Jim
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Hey it's been forever since I have been here, but it looks like your still writing good poetry. Nice jo
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I find this beautiful, I love how the words seem to roll off my lips, this is a moving and gracious write.
The imagery is what draws my imagination thus.
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This is very nice and it is far better than I could have done. However, if I may interject a small criticism, you have the iambic pentameter down and the rhyme scheme of a Shakespearean sonnet, but you don't have a volta. At least not one that I can see, I could be dead wrong. But it's a good sonnet overall
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It is true it is not as defined as it probably should be, it is just a soft turn in thought and occurs in the 7th line. Thank you for the compliments.
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this is so pretty... your word flow is pretty close to flawless. i love the thought of stars, and night. i love your last two lines especially. really well done, im awed. =]
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Beautiful in it's simplicity.
I enjoyed reading this serene little piece. As a matter of fact I liked the deliberately and uneventfully quiet ending. It fits nicely. The only thing that might help a tiny bit with the flow is that I would leave out the middle comma in the last line and the period also after numb.
Paul
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