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Holding Out For Neverland

Peter Pan,

please bring your fairies
and take me away from this place,

where so many burdens are heaped on me to carry.

 

My knees have hit the hard floor,

I am unable to move anymore.

I long to be like you, to learn what it means to explore.

 

Your shadow you were able to defeat;

my shadow has grown too strong for me.

It threatens to overtake me,

to drown me in the darkness it excretes.

 

The answers I long for,

the comfort I need,

both of these have been hidden from me,

locked in a hidden drawer.

 

I pray for you to come and take my hand.

I promise I will be yours forever,

if you would only steal me away, to Neverland.

Author notes

I chose option 4, but, changed the title.

Here is the original title: WISHING FOR A NEVERLAND

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Snow White Queen
    February 4, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    WOW!!! ILOVE THIS!!!


  • Chocoholic156
    February 3, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Well... if you hadn't had Neverland in the end, I would have never known this was my poem. Not necessarily a bad thing, just a little different than what I was picturing when writing it. You took a very interesting spin on it, which is good. I like it. My favorite part is:

    "my shadow has grown too strong for me."

    Because you don't have to spell out the entire struggle for me to see what is going on and what you are trying to convey through this poem.
    The only thing is that I just can't see any of my poem in there anymore, except for the Neverland part. But, you did a really good job with this poem, and I appreciate you taking the time to enter in my contest. Thank you, and keep writing.