translucency embodied
it was the word itself
lost in my winter world
i stumbled and fell
and you
in glittering glory
tried to save me
but when you came
and saw
you turned and left
and i was left alone
Author notes
Prompt: Frozen Blood by Sandy515 at Deviant art.
http://sandy515.deviantart.com/art/Frozen-blood-111711368
Sorry for the total abandon of grammar and the like. If you want me to fix it I will.
Not sure why I called it what I did.
A contest entry
- PIF Quickie!!! 10-30-40 by PerfectImperfection.
900 points, ended February 3, 2009, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Blah-fish - Constructive criticism is appreciated
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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"lost in my winter world"
DUDE... brilliant.
'nuff said ^^
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I ish dude?
Seffie actually commented! Yay! Hugs for Seffie! 
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its a wonderful take
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Hmmm, I love your title! It fits the poem, in that each words trembles with sadness and uncertainty, a voice waiting to be heard. Two uses of 'left' so close together is a little awkward, but other than that minor detail, this is wonderful. Well done, and good luck!
Laura
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I won't say a bit of something extra would not complement this piece, however I will say regardless - it has a powerful presence. The emotion here is vivid and able to be felt from your words. A great take on the image chosen. Thank you for your entry!
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